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Ok It's Time for my...Annual *Pre-Burning Man Rant and Predictions!!

Ok It's Time for my . . . Annual Pre-Burning Man Rant and Predictions!!!
After 22+ years of attendance, I have watched this festival go from what was described by Wired Magazine in 1997 as, "what the internet would be like if it was happening in reality" to 2020 where, "What? In reality, this festival is happening on the internet" ?!? What a serious head fuck . . .
So strap in or strap on and get ready for disappointment . . . like virtually everything in this virtual world right now.
Here goes this year's Virtual Rant!
PREDICTIONS
The Virtual Burn is going the be everything you think it could be . . . an underwhelming and depressing reminder that you are not going the real Burning Man this year.
While it is still better than nothing, nothing is an extremely low bar. Get ready for a clusterfuck of 8 separately-produced interpretive video game dreamscapes, made by skilled teams of programmers eager to prove that their world-building technology will be able to make future financial investors a shitload of money.
Burning Man 2021 is a 50/50 chance at best. 2022 is not looking that great either. Between The Org burning cash on side projects, the FEDs wanting to crack down hard and the Bureau of Land Management clearly pretty fucking stoked that they did not have to deal with the whole shitshow this year, it's going to be an uphill battle for the festival to return.
Huge changes will need to be made.
Those few gluttons for punishment who do decide to go to the playa this week will be treated to Burning Man without the Burning Man Experience.
It will take all the hard work, organization and preparation for survival in the middle of a harsh desert environment for a week of Burning Man . . . just without the Burning Man.
If there is one silver lining of the event not happening this year, it's the fact that I don't have to pack up my dust covered Burning Man bullshit from last year, drive 19 hours, then have to smuggle drugs inside my ass to make it past the BLM rangers just go camping in one of the most fucking miserable and inhospitable places on earth.
Without Shirtcockers, Megaphones and Massive Thumping Soundsystems, it's just a bogus camping trip in bad weather with a shitload of cops.
This year we will NOT be seeing the usual post-Burn MASSSIVE FLOOD of social media posts from Burners who lost their nice $60 water bottle/container somewhere on the playa, often accompanied by a story of why this particular water container was of importance because it has a strap on it, followed by a brief description of unique camps stickers on it and a photo of said missing water bottle/container. In fact, while we are starting to think about cutting costs -- How about lost and found stops giving a fuck about your overpriced water bottle. You lost it, Becky . . . let it go. You spent 20 times More Money on Cocaine for the week than the price of your fucking stoopid-Smart-Bottle-container.
THE VIRTUAL BURN
This year’s Virtual Burn brings about more questions than it does answers.
How will Shirtcockers express their hatred of pants without a Burning Man? In a virtual world, they become no different than unsolicited dick pics.
How will Artcar Owners be able to swing their metaphorical dicks around without their Artcars booming Deep House music to show the world their girth. Sure, you can build one in the Minecraft world for this years Burn . . .But lets face it: No one is gonna be like "Who did that 3D CAD drawing, I totally wanna fuck them!"
What will all the Assholes with Megaphones do without Burners to heckle?
Without handheld amplified audio devices and wide-open spaces, they become no different than Internet Trolls.
How will Hippies on a Vision Quest be able find their spirit animal online? Without a guided shamanic ritual and Temple to burn, they become no different than someone playing Animal Crossing.
If there is no moop or trash to clean up in a virtual Burning Man how can Moop-shamers be able to prove to campmates and others that they are better at "doing Burning Man " than everyone else? In a virtual world they become no different than a Sarah McLaughlin Green Peace commercial.
How will Dooshbonnets and Dooshbags be able to gain followers on Instagram without the giant Robot Heart to climb?
How can they show the world that they not only have braved the pool of Piranhas chomping for position for line, negotiated past the all-seeing and all-knowing doorgirl with a clipboard, proving that they have climbed both the social and physical ladder to reach the top of the Robot Heart, so that they may look down upon the lowly dancefloor with both spite and pity for the unwashed masses who where not able achieve such greatness.
Without this accomplishment, they become no different than average Twitter users vying for Celebrity attention.
How will Burning Man DJs be able to disappoint us with poorly executed timing and bullshit Michael Jackson remixes? Without huge Soundsystems to bang out the worst in modern electronic music, DJs just become . . . The SAME TERRIBLE DJs just now on Twitch! #playatech #Djstreaming #Djsofburningman
Although each Virtual World must have been an amazing feat of programming in its scope and size, it kinda feels like a huge project that was done in a short amount of time. None of the Eight Worlds, in any way, reflect the typical Burning Man experience.
However, there are a few non-official super realistic Burning Man simulators out there.
By far the most realistic experience has to be the "Getting Out More This Year" Simulator.
The player is welcomed to a rich and tangible 3D World of Chris's DopeAss 70s RV, which is camped way out on 4:30 and H, where your avatar can spend all day and all night doing fun things like Ketamine, or other colorful interactive game play such as snorting Ketamine, and even interact with the virtual Chris’s chat box and watch his avatar do Ketamine.
Other game play options include doing Ketamine, talking about doing Ketamine and also doing Ketamine.
The more days and nights spent doing Ketamine, the higher the score! If you want to experience what a typical Burner really does the whole week, than this one is for you!!
Then we have: "Let's Go Party" . . . the online multi-player game where the objective is to get your group of more than 6 Burners to try and leave camp, and all go out to party together.
I did not have much fun playing. I was never able to leave the front of camp. 14 hours of game play later, Brenda still needs to go back for chapstick and Ricky can’t find his bag of blow. Then once Brenda arrives ready, Kaleporia is cold and needs a scarf. Darkwad David is going back to get some blinky lights for the 3rd time. Now Timmy can't find his cigarettes . . . Fuck.
“ManBun Boyfriend”. In this first person POV game, you (the ManBun) has little to no control within the game, with only a single "Ok, Sure" button to navigate within the world. The game play opens as the player is dragged out of bed at 6 AM by the onscreen girlfriend who takes you (the ManBun) on an treacherous journey of sunrise yoga classes, self help lectures, think and grow rich seminars, yoga, positive affirmation workshops, mindful guided mediations, yoga, healing arts ceremonies, wellness and well-being talks, yoga, vegan lifestyle in the new age conferences, yoga, mindful-and-wellness-group-chat and also yoga.
Extra points if you can score a selfie in front of the Giant BELIEVE letters!!
After 8 grueling hours of game play, it simply flashes a screen where girlfriend says "I'm Tired", and the “ManBun Boyfriend” simulator then restarts game play to opening sequence.
“DJs Girlfriend”. This simulation offers a similar experience to “ManBun Boyfriend”. However, in this first person POV game, you (the DJs Girlfriend) is invited to Follow "Dj GlockTrigger" on a dubstep-and-monster-energy-drink-filled adventure as you (the DJs Girlfriend) is rushed from empty dancefloor to empty dancefloor, while picking up extra points if you can find him a "line of blow". After 12 hours of game play the screen flashes "Hey babe I'm gonna go drink with the boyies" and game play is reset.
THE RANT
I am not that great at finance. Obviously. I’ve been to Burning Man 22 times. That should tell you enough about my poor financial / life choices.
But even this burnout Burner can do the math and see that the Burning Man Org is in financial trouble.
Burning Man may need to sell out to save itself. It would not be the first time..
Burning Man "sold out" to the PsyTrance community in 1997. To help ticket sales, the Bay Area was flooded with seriously lame underproduced Rave flyers. Or maybe Dr. Dre can toss in a few million to keep The Org afloat once again.
Or hey why don't we start tickling Elon Musk's balls again, and see if we can start choking on his shaft in return for some sweet corporate demon semen sponsorship.
The Org has already gone pinky finger deep with him. Like when Tesla brought out a full-on Electric Car Expo. That's right, in 2007, at Burning Man, right at fucking Esplanade & 9:00, they had what can only be described as an “anonymous car dealership” from “the green future”, complete with lengthy-worded displays filled with lofty promises of clean energy, infused with subtle corporate propaganda.
In the center of the exhibit sat a life-size solid black plastic model Tesla car.
As well as someone on guard 24/7 to make sure no one tagged or fucked with the stoopid thing. I personally got chased out for drawing a dick in the DUST on the window! All I know is they should have burnt it down or blew it up by the end of the week, but that lame ass mother fucker was still there on Sunday when I journeyed back to draw a dick on it again -- this time with a PAINT PEN. After executing a perfect fat-sacked-choad-headed-donger on the hood, I was once again chased out by rangers, this time with pitchforks screaming bloody murder for my head!!
Fuck you, Ranger Doug! You will never be able to prove that was Me!!!
So Look, it's not the first time The Org spread its asscheeks for a little bit of corporate dick on the side. They also bent over back in 2013 and let Mark Fucking Zuckerberg bring a Giant Golden 'LIKE' sculpture out there. I just hope they did the right thing by the end of week and it was killed with fire.
SO we know The Org is corporateBiCurious. Time to snuggle up, get out of the corporate cocksucking closet and cash in on the fact that this place sold out a long time ago.
Start flirting with attractive corporate entities like Mark Z, the Google Boys, Elon, Tommy Boy from Myspace, or maybe even P-Diddy to toss in some cash to get this fucking party started again!
Yo, Elon! How can we have Burning Man on Mars in 2050 as planned, if we can’t keep it going on Earth for the next 30 years?
At this point, The Org can spread their legs in the backseat of that Tesla and change next years theme to Space-X. I could give a FUCK!!!!! As long as we can keep Old Naked Dudes On Bikes rolling free.
Let some of these cocksucking limpdick corporations like Doritos -- who have already profited from using our Artcars and culture in a their fabricated commercials -- actually fucking pay us money and we will let them shoot a real commercial out there. Have fun pixelating the nipples out of the background actors. I COULD GIVE A FUCK as long as Shirtcockers have a natural habitat to dongslap and roam free. Let Brazzers.com build the Temple! I sincerely really don't care what they do . . . as long as Assholes with Megaphones have wide open spaces to heckle Burners in the Black Rock Desert like GOD intended.
BACK TO BASICS : THE FESTIVAL WILL NEED TO RESEST
Maybe The Org will stop fisting themselves in the burnhole with all the Cultural-Direction-Bullshit and get down to brass tax here.
They have spent years trying to market the festival as a family-friendly-non-offensive-all-inclusive-experience for the suburban upperclass while still catering to the super elite.
We need The Org to provide the DPW and Tickets . . .
Not for Cultural Direction, or Large Scale Art Funding Circle Jerks, Abstract Charity Causes, International Involvement, or any of the Meaningless Feel-Good Propaganda tools they use to control the image of the festival!
The number one focus from here on out needs to be the festival itself taking place once again in Black Rock City!
This defacto-defunding of The Org is a blessing. Look, when it comes down to it, it's not about the lame fucking themes each year. It's about the Burners who come and contribute to the festival that makes it special.
It’s not about overpriced art grants, or Rich-Dick Theme Camp placement priorities. It about the shitty unofficial un-themed camp at 7:00 and J blaring Discotrance music on a distorted soundsystem while giving away room temperature margaritas!
I could give a fuck about all of the elaborate expensive blinking bullshit! Cuts cost! Make the Burning Man effigy from toothpicks for all I give a fuck. None of that shit really matters. The spirit of Burning Man is in the person giving away ice cream from a cooler out in deep playa on a hot afternoon.
The soul of the festival is in Old Naked Dudes on a Bikes rolling free across the desert!
The heart of the festival is the Nightmare Hippy Chick on Acid rolling around in the dust, screaming about her spirit vegetable.
Believe me if The Org had its way, Burning Man would be nothing but Transformational Mediation Seminars, Yoga Classes, Ultra Overpriced Sculptures, and TED talks about how to get rich quick selling a new type of investment portfolio.
I am perfectly happy with the crappy bars and half-assed theme camps that are there just to have a good time. We don't need The Org's unique brand of new age capital-elitism bullshit.
They have clearly dropped the ball on the Cultural Direction for years, and the less they steer the ship, the better, cuz we have already washed up on the rocks.
BULLSHIT CLICKBAIT
“Top 10 Burning Man Pictures You Must See To Believe!”
And once clicked, sure enough it’s nothing but a bunch of super basic-ass photos of some super-hot-Coachella-swinger-couple at sunset in front of the most gentrified “OMG I need to get a selfie in front that to show my followers on Instagram” artwork on the playa.
You already know exactly where these fucksticks took the stoopid photo is front of, OF fucking course it's in front of the BELIEVE letters. It’s Basically the "live, laugh, love" of playa art.
Really, I won't believe this ?!
What I won't believe is that their relationship is going to last beyond next week . . . cuz there’s a 90% chance they are gonna join the wrong gangbang at the Orgy Dome and suddenly someone is not happy about the amount of buttfucking the other one received.
Thanks Business Insider Magazine for exposing the public to the wild and crazy world that is Burning Man. Now every fucking Chad and Becky from Wall Street is trying to come here to get laid. "Bro if I was there I would bang so many Hot Chicks on top of those letters" . . . "OMG I LOVE those Letters!! We are SOOO going to Burning Man to meet our future husbands <3."
How about 10 REAL photos you won’t believe?
Too bad the cameras weren’t there to snap a picture of the guy who took a shower with a fat chick and midget porn star!
It’s a shame no one from the Daily Mail UK was there to catch video of the guy who was tripping his nuts off and could not figure out how to unlock the door of the porta-potty -- escaping only by busting through the plastic roof and climbing out the top several hours later.
Or how about that chick at the meditation camp that was able to summon a higher power of consciousness and transcended the spacetime continuum for a short/infinite amount of time!
Where the fuck was BoredPanda.com to catch a photo of the person who was hit with a rubber dildo when it was carelessly thrown from the top of the Space Pirate ship into the Mayan Warrior crowd.
Now That’s some real stuff that happens out there that I would be happy to clickbait on!
THERE WILL BE SOME CHANGES MADE
The Large Scale Art:
Instead of funding massive installations that end up being resold to casinos on the Las Vegas strip, why not treat them like large Rich-Dick Theme Camps -- give the Installation Artists 200 DGS Tickets, and in return, these assholes will be happy to spend shitloads of money on blinky light towers or whatever, just so they can lock in those sweet sweet reserved tickets for themselves and their friends.
The Tone:
The Utopian Blinkylight Dreamscape has been cool for the past 16 years . . . Buuuut . . . it has gradually fallen out of touch with the world around us.
For far too long, The Org has ignored camps or underfunded art that could be perceived as dark or controversial in any way, shape or form.
Yet again, another example of their Cultural Direction Tactics to market Burning Man as a blinky-light-mickey-mouse-Epcot-Center for wealthy-business-insiders-and-celebrities featuring a safespace-family-oriented-wholesome-body-wellness-green-living-environment for social-media-influencer-photo-shoots.
Burning Man has NEVER been a Safe place!
In 1998, I witnessed a beheading by guillotine at the Opera Performance that was so realistic I spent the next 5 hours (still frying balls on acid!) convinced that Billy Graham was right about this place being a Satanic death cult that would bring about the end of the world.
IT WAS DISTURBING!
If the Barbie Death Camp incident at last years’ Burn taught us anything, it is that there clearly need to be risky and controversial works of art at the festival.
We can't be having pussy-footed Australians throwing temper tantrums like little punk bitches CUZ they don't like the way someone put Barbie Dolls inside an oven!
Why did that do-good-koala-humping-limpdick-ASS-licker think it was OK? Well . . .The Org has shoved the narrative that Burning Man is strictly "good vibes only" down our fucking throats so deep that we finally gagged from it.
Why the fuck was that guy even there? Well, he clicked on the Business Insiders’ “Top Ten Burning Man Photos You Must See To BELIEVE” and thought it was gonna be nothing but butterfly sculptures and Instagram Models in front of giant letters.
No Kids:
Yep. Sorry Minecraft Burners, but you are gonna have to wait until you are 21 to come to this party!
Renegotiating the insurance policy as an over-21 festival will save The Org millions and millions of dollars.
Out of 80,000 people, less than .05% are under 21 . . .yet we have to check IDs at every fucking bar !?
Every year the gate gets closed down and no one can filter in or out because someone asshole can't find their kid. This should be a HUGE red flag !
Law Enforcement uses the fact that minors are allowed at the event as justification to engage in predatory conduct such as undercover stings, camp raids and random tickets for unsuspecting bartenders who forget to check IDs.
Also I am not comfortable with the legal grey area the Shirtcocking and Titbouncing in the presence of minors creates.
And if it ever comes down to nudity versus allowing kids, I am sorry but we can't sacrifice the heart of this festival on account of the fact that you don't want to get a fucking babysitter for the week.
Your kids could give a flying-donald-duck-fuck about Burning Man! You and I both know goddamn well that given the opportunity they would rather play video games for the week at grandma's house then have to listen to Mom and Dad fight at Burning Man all week about who got buttfucked by whom at the Orgy Dome. . .
LEAVE THEM AT HOME!!!!!!
So the rest of us can be free to fuck, drink, smoke and wave our goddamn dicks and clits around whereever we see fit!!!
The Temple:
In the early days of the David Best Temples, they were constructed from the leftover hollows of wooden dinosaur jigsaw puzzle pieces.
It was low cost, recycled and pretty fucking cool!
Last year’s Temple was overdesigned, structurally unsound, and made from rare rustic-oak hardwood and redwood trees imported from China.
Let’s cut costs and just do what those guys from Belgium did in 2005. It's a Very Simple Plan. We get a shitload of old 2x4 boards and fucking Wing It! The Belgium Waffle House would have made a perfectly good Temple.
Garbage Dumpsters:
Yep, that's right. In the future we will have dumpsters at Burning Man! All the Survivalist and Moop-shaming Burners say it will destroy the festival. Guess what, Burn Nut? It's already common practice for larger theme camps to rent dumpsters that are emptied at the end of the week!! It's been going on for YEARS! So what?
Theme Camps will now have to pay a dumpster fee and there will be strict rules around any public dumpsters. Believe me The Org will provide the minimum amount possible to accommodate the BLM. It won't be nearly enough dumpsters for everyone to just toss all their trash, recycling and extra bikes into.
Don't worry, Radical Self-Reliant Survivalist Burnertypes, other people will still have to suffer packing up and dealing with their own trash on the ride home. Moop-shamers rejoice! You will definitely still be able to shame people for mooping and not cleaning up, if not even more so now. I don't see why we can't be Radically Self-Reliant by having dumpsters on site. We will still Leave No Trace, while leaving one less thing for surrounding communities to bitch about.
Build the Wall !!!
Ya fuck it! Build the Wall. So what? Honestly, it will be more aesthetically pleasing than that fucking orange fence. And if that is what the Feds want, that's cool with me -- as long as The Org gets to choose who does Security!
Thank fucking god we are not doing Burning Man this year.
With the world on fire all around us, it seems a bit tone-def to hold a giant rave utopia party!
I, for one, will be enjoying the week indoors under air-conditioning and rolling around in the heaps of cash I am saving by not going. I’m not attending a single workshop to expand my consciousness, not giving a single gift to anyone, and not being radical or self-reliant in any way.
Fuck your Virtual Burn.
I am Zapper Jones. I will see you in the Dust again . . . Sometime Somewhere in the Future!
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[Unresolved Murder] When 24-year-old Mitrice Richardson went missing, was it due to a mental break - or something more sinister?

So I am extremely intrigued by the Mitrice Richardson case, as I feel like there is just something "off" about it. I've been thinking about posting about it for a while. I did just see a new post this morning with a theory, and figured I'd run through the entire case again to hear what people have to think. I'm not used to this so please be gentle! This is also going to be a long one, so strap in!
I am struggling to get the formatting to work correctly so I apologize.
Mitrice Lavon Richardson was born in 1985 to Latice Sutton and Michael Richardson, though she was raised by Latice and Mitrice's stepfather, Larry. From a younger age, she was extremely drawn to psychology and the way the human brain worked. Mitrice grew up in West Covina, CA and later attended Cal State - Fullerton to pursue her BA in psychology. She was the first person in her family to attend college.
As she approached the end of her undergraduate career, Mitrice decided that she might want to pursue graduate school. During this time, she was dating her girlfriend, Tessa, and also go-go dancing at a lesbian bar.
Leading up to her disappearance, there are conflicting reports on whether or not Mitrice had been acting unusual. According to Crime Junkie, Tessa adamantly opposes the idea that Mitrice was in any way mentally ill or erratic. However, both Crime Junkie and Trace Evidence acknowledge that Mitrice had been sending strange text messages and posting weird posts on social media at all times of the night.
At some point in the investigation, officers also found erratic journal entries where the writing switched from clean and neat, to staggered and illegible, within the same pages, sometimes the same sentences.
Whether or not she had bipolar disorder is also a point of contention. NBC Los Angeles states that she was diagnosed. I have seen some articles state that she was diagnosed, and that her mother admitted this. But other articles, like this one from Fox LA state that family members state that she had no mental health problems.
However, regardless of whether or not she had bipolar disordea diagnosis, I do believe that she was struggling with mental illness in some way. But did this have to do with her death?
On September 16, 2009, Mitrice was driving down the Pacific Coast Highway when she decided to stop at Geoffrey's in Malibu. She got out of her car to wait for the valet - in his car, mumbling about avenging Michael Jackson's death. When she went inside, the valet informed the host that she was acting strangely.
Mitrice sat alone, drinking a cocktail and eating a steak. But then she randomly joined another table of 7 people. She talked quickly about astrology, even mentioning that she was from Mars. At the end of the meal, the other people left. When Mitrice tried to leave, she was stopped and told to pay the $89 bill. Despite the fact that money was later found in her purse, Mitrice told the restaurant that she had no money and thought the table would pay for her.
The manager called Mitrice's great-grandmother Mildred, who agreed to pay the bill. However, the manager refused to take her credit card number over the phone. Eventually, one of the employees called the police. On the phone call, the woman stated, "We have a guest here who is refusing to pay her bill. She sounds really crazy. She may be on drugs."
At approximately 9pm, officers from the Los Angeles County Sheriffs Department Malibu/Lost Hills Sheriff's Station showed up at Geoffrey's to arrest Mitrice. Officers searched her car and found a small amount of marijuana. LA Mag, who has one of the most comprehensive write-ups of this case I've seen, also notes that the police found partially drunken bottles of alcohol in her car, but I have not seen that anywhere else.
Because employees at Geoffrey's didn't think Mitrice was okay enough to drive, and because of the marijuana, officers performed a field sobriety test. Mitrice passed. Officers do not report finding a wallet, money, or even cell phone in the car. Although the employees at Geoffrey's considered paying Mitrice's bill for her, to avoid her being taken into police custody, they were worried about her mental health and her ability to drive. So they let her be taken away by the police, as the manager chose to press charges.
As this was going on, Mildred called Latice. Immediately, Latice was concerned about how strange her daughter was acting. She called the Lost Hills station and was assured that Mitrice was being carefully watched by the officers. It was late at night by this time and Latice wasn't sure if she should pick her daughter up; the officer assured her that Mitrice would be in custody until morning, so Latice could pick her up then.
According to LA Mag, Latice told the officer, "I think the only way I will come and get her tonight is if you guys are going to release her tonight. She's not from that area and I would hate to wake up to a morning report, 'girl lost somewhere with her head chopped off.'"
Here's what we know.
Mitrice's car was impounded. Mitrice was taken to Lost Hills station, about 25 miles away from Geoffrey's. Law enforcement could have held her under the belief that she might hurt herself or others.
Despite conflicting reports, law enforcement officers state Mitrice was fine. Mitrice was released from custody between 12:15am and 1:25am on September 17. When released, she had no wallet or cell phone.
She used a phone at the station to try and call Mildred. LE states she called 4 times and they heard a conversation. Mildred says she never received a phone call. All phone calls (if any) were made from a non-recorded line.
Mitrice was charged with marijuana possession and defrauding an officer. Because she had no prior record, she was let go with a fine and court date. Officers refused to drive her back to her car (8-13 miles away). Officers told her she could sleep in the lobby until morning. One jailer claims Mitrice said she was meeting friends.
In an article for CBS News, sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore stated, "She exhibited no signs of mental illness or intoxication. She was fine. She's an adult."
Mitrice walked into the night, in an unfamiliar area, with no car, wallet, or phone. When Latice called the station the next morning around 5:30am, she was told that her daughter was gone. She asked about filing a missing persons report, but was told it was too soon. Latice told the deputy she was worried about her daughter's mental state, that she might be depressed.
Somewhere between 5:30am and 6:30am, Bill Smith called the Lost Hills station to report a young black women "prowling" around his home in Monte Nido (about 6 miles away from the station). Bill reports that when he asked the woman how she was doing, she replied that she was OK, just resting. Then she disappeared into the night.
Now here's where the Lost Hills station begins to look more and more fishy.
It took 2 days before Lost Hills officers started searching for Mitrice...at Bill Smith's house. Officers declined to use scent tracking dogs that would tell them how Mitrice got from Lost Hills station to Monte Nido.
Officers found shoe prints. It looked like Mitrice was walking, then had suddenly started running towards Dark Creek and Dark Canyon. Officers did not search Dark Creek or Dark Canyon at the time.
Mitrice's case was reassigned twice: first to the LAPD's Missing Persons Unit, then to LAPD's Robbery-Homicide Unit. LAPD officers determined that Mitrice had a manic episode caused by bipolar disorder. When LAPD officers searched her car, they found her wallet, cell phone, ATM card, and enough money to cover her meal - despite the fact that the LASD stated they found nothing.
3 days after her disappearance, the Lost Hills Lieutenant sent out an email about Mitrice, which LA Mag got a hold of. In the email, Lieutenant Scott Chew addresses Captain Thomas Martin, noting that Mitrice was brought in because "[Loureiro] felt she was acting unusual and was uneasy about letting her go. In the end, [Loureiro] brought her because of his instincts. The fact that she disappeared validated his instinct.”
Since then, Chew stated that he did not remember writing the email, or maybe didn't write it at all. Loureiro stated that he never actually had that conversation or asked for a sobriety test for Mitrice. For the next month or so, the LASD frequently spoke to the media to reaffirm that Mitrice had been fine.
Latice then asked for the footage of Mitrice at the station, hoping to get insight into her daughter's condition. She was told that no footage existed. 4 months later, she was told that there was actually a video...but due to "technical difficulties," it took ANOTHER 3 months for the family to receive it.
In the video (which was edited), Mitrice seems agitated, pulling on her hair and on the bars. When she is finally released, the video shows Mitrice walking out the door...with a deputy following quickly after. The police department refused to name the officer or state if he had any contact with Mitrice outside of the station.
In January, there were immense searches of Malibu Canyon; no body was found, and Lost Hills officers refuse to say whether or not they checked Dark Canyon. As time went on, there were some supposed sightings of Mitrice in Las Vegas, in a casino or working as a prostitute. But Latice says she knew her daughter was still somewhere where she went missing. Unfortunately, she was right.
11 months after her disappearance, Mitrice's mummified remains were found in Dark Canyon by rangers, only 8 miles from the Lost Hills station and 2 miles from where she was last seen. You can see the map to get a better idea.
Again, here's where it gets weird.
Mitrice was found naked. Some of her clothes were recovered a few hundred feet away in positions that did not suggest animal involvement. Her bra was unclasped. Her belt was unclasped and removed. Her jeans were unzipped.
An earring that she had not been wearing at the time of her disappearance was stuck in her hair.
Her right leg, with the femur removed, was located 6 feet upslope from her body. Her body, clothes, and leg showed no signs of animal involvement, biting, trauma, etc. Five neck bones were never found.
Mitrice's left arm was tightly flexed over her chest, indicating that she mummified in that unnatural position.
Rangers called in the dead body. Around 1.5 hours later, a Lost Hills deputy (unidentified) arrived on scene. Policy and state codes say that the coroner must be contacted immediately upon finding remains. It took 1.5 additional hours, after the deputy arrived, to call the coroner.
The coroner and his team were told that a LASD helicopter would pick them up and bring them to the body. 2-3 hours later, they were told that the LASD would remove the body instead. Against the wishes of the coroner, the LASD collected the remains and took them back to the Lost Hills station, breaking policy.
Sheriffs took no photographs of the scene, failed to collect soil samples, and did not document the process of recovering Mitrice's remains. When asked, sheriffs stated they pulled on the skull and the entire skeleton appeared. This is untrue, as her skull was detached from her neck.
The LASD stated that they believed no crime had been committed. Rather, they posited that Mitrice had been bitten by a rattlesnake or possibly had a fatal allergic reaction to poison oak. They stated that Mitrice must have been naked because animals ripped her clothes off, but this directly contrasts how neatly the clothes were removed, the fact that the clothes and body show no tooth marks, and that her clothes were scattered around the canyon.
Additionally:
If animals had torn off her clothing, where were her shoes and socks, shirts, and underwear?
Why were her clothes so clean, with no evidence of animal bites or even dirt from nature? One forensic anthropologist believes the clothes might have been removed from the scene and cleaned.
Why was Mitrice mummified and not totally decomposed if she had been exposed to the elements for 11 months?
What caused her left arm to be flexed? Could she have been tied up while mummification occurred?
When the animal theory didn't pan out, the LASD changed their statement, saying that her clothes were removed by running water. But for this to be possible, the creek would have needed to rise by 60 feet, and her body would have needed to float against the current.
Next came a series of infuriating mistakes from the coroner's office:
The coroner did not test hair found on the ground and compare it to Mitrice's hair to see if someone else was present. The earring was never tested. Bug casings on Mitrice's body were never tested. Dirt and leaves from the scene were never tested.
No craniotomy was performed to identify potential blunt force trauma. It took weeks to find Mitrice's clothes at the coroner's office; they were shoved into the bottom of a bag. Mitrice's pubic hair and clothes were not tested for semen, fibers, or hair.
Altogether, the LASD only searched the scene twice: once when Mitrice's body was found, and again 6 months later. Some of her remains are still missing. Her teeth were slightly pink, indicating strangulation, but no determination can be made without the missing hyoid bone from her neck.
So what happened to Mitrice?
(1) She was experiencing some sort of psychosis or manic episode, whether from bipolar, schizophrenia, or another mental illness. Because of this, she was able to get to the specific area of the canyon, remove her clothing, and succumbed to the elements. The LASD, though sketchy, did not play a role in her death. They just didn't care that much about a black woman in a predominantly white area.
(2) Mitrice was going through some sort of mental health crisis. Officers of the LASD believed that they could take advantage of her in some way, probably sexually. After she was released, the LASD contributed to her getting to Monte Nido and then to her death. They cleaned up and either hid the body, or dumped it but led others away from the area, then continually prevented the investigation from proceeding.
(3) Some third party (another person, a group of people) contributed to Mitrice's death. Because of LE's clear negligence, and Mitrice's mental illness, no third party was ever searched for.
I personally believe that the LASD did have a hand in Mitrice's death. I believe that one, or multiple, officers offered her a ride. I believe that she was sexually assaulted. But I'm unclear if, after this, LE killed her or she wandered off on her own, where she died. What are your thoughts? Curious to see what everyone else thinks.
Additional Articles: LA Mag & Wikipedia
submitted by thatgirlisaproblem to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]

Major Suggestion Compilation for Future Updates

TLDR: This is an unbelievably long post, so feel free to scroll down to the numbered list of suggestions for future updates and read a small bit of each one.
I want to preface this post by saying that I really hope somebody from Rare reads this eventually and acknowledges that they will at least consider these ideas. Not only because a lot of the ideas are wanted by the SoT community, but also because I have been the biggest Rare fan ever since childhood and it would mean so much to me knowing that my all time favorite company on Earth (and creators of the greatest game of all time: Banjo Kazooie) have responded to my post.
With that said, I have been playing SoT since close to the beginning of the game's release and would love nothing more than to see it continue to improve. It is an astounding game that I love and enjoy playing almost every night. This game has been my #1 choice for a while now and has allowed me, my family, and my friends to come together as pirates. What a dream come true!
I have spent lots of time and energy compiling a comprehensive list of all the major suggestions that I have seen on this thread and other SoT forums, along with a handful of some original ideas. I know some of these suggestions would take a lot more manpower to execute than other suggestions, so I am simply asking that the feasible ones can be released in future updates. I am also going to make it a point not to talk about bugs or other programming/coding issues, I won't pretend to know enough about any of that. These are simply suggestions that would vastly improve every pirate's experience on the seven seas. This list was not wirtten in any particular order and does not become less interesting as it goes on, so I urge you to please take the time to read the whole post and consider each point. Here are the things we would all love to see come to your game in the near future:
  1. More skins - This is the most obvious one and would probably be the least intensive of any of the suggestions on this list. Many people have already bought all the skins they want or have bought literally every skin there is to buy! Technically, the "goal" of the game is to collect gold, and as of right now, the only thing you can possibly spend gold on is skins. So why not add more? Like, LOTS more? I don't mean one more set or some exclusive drops you can get through Twitch, I mean get your design team blasting out concepts day and night and double our current options! Shoot, there are hundreds, if not thousands of incredible fan-made drawings online, you could even offer payments to those people and take the concepts that have already been provided to you! The more skins, the more incentive there is to keep playing. And by the way, Pirate Legends could use more exclusive skins as well.
  2. More ship customization - Being able to customize your player is awesome, and being able to customize your ship is even cooler, but why can I customize so many aspects of my player, but not my ship? With my pirate, I can customize every detail down to the belt, the peg leg, the patch over the eye, and the tattoos on his chest. With my ship, I only have a few customization options available. Allow me to make my ship way more unique than I currently can. Don't make "hull" one thing, split that into 5! Let me choose my mast colors, my deck color, the color of the side of my ship, everything individually! And add other fun customization options, like your harpoons, the tip of the front of your ship (I don't know the name of it), maybe even the placement of your supply bins! And please, for the love of goodness, let me customize my rowboat. WE ALL WANT UNIQUE ROWBOATS.
  3. Skill-based combat - I think the SoT community by now is all aware that this game is not about hand to hand combat. However, the combat as of right now is just a little robotic and stale. If there was any way to improve the sword and gun fighting, that would be incredible. It doesn't have to become some combo heavy Street Fighter game, but it would be nice to add in some new types of slashes or kicks or something of the sorts. I don't think the community is asking for a combat overhaul, but just some spice.
  4. New weapons - The guns in this game seem diverse and balanced, but this game desperately needs more hand to hand weapons than just a sword. Let me hack with an axe, whip around a heavy chain, poke with a fencing sword, SOMETHING else. We don't need tons of new options, we just need new options. If there were maybe 3 weapons, it could turn into a game of rock paper scissors or something like that where certain weapons counter others. Variety is nice!
  5. Axes - I know I just mentioned axes as an example for new weapons, but I've seen a lot of complaints from the community about how impossible it is to do anything once you've boarded an enemy ship and killed the players. You have very few options to put holes in their boat and sink it, and the few options that you do have are usually extremely time consuming and difficult to pull off. This is especially frustrating for solo players who put in so much time and effort to take out a whole crew and try to sink their ship and steal their loot. A weapon such as an axe would solve this problem. If a player was holding an axe, they could methodically bust holes into a ship and sink it without having a cannoneer on their own ship. Now, I can see how this sounds unfair because obviously s galleon crew will just jump on another ship and start hacking away. To avoid this issue, make is so there's only one axe per ship, so only one crew member can carry it (it would teleport back to the ship after not being used for 1 minute). This weapon would obviously have to be balanced, but I don't think it would be that difficult to do.
  6. Cannon and harpoon variability - You know how you can go into the weapon box and choose between 3 different guns? Why can't you do that with your cannons or your harpoons? Put a new box next to the ship customization box on the dock at each outpost that allows you to change the type of cannon or harpoon you want on your ship until the next time you dock at an outpost. Make a quick reloading cannon that can shoot far but can only make tiny holes in a ship. Make an ultra powerful cannon that can shoot all the way through an entire ship and blow multiple giant holes, but takes a full 5 seconds to reload. Make a harpoon with twice the range that can only grab loot and people. Make a sturdy harpoon with half the range that will never break off an enemy boat as it turns. Also, it might be fun to be able to customize the placement of the cannons and harpoons (with limited options, so it stays fair). All of this would make sailing the seas more enjoyable to each individual crew and would give them the fighting experience they want.
  7. Expand the map - I don't know how else to say it, but we've been playing on the same map and sailing to the same islands for a long time. I understand there have been some minor changes, but the addition of the Devil's Roar was absolutely jaw dropping and we want more! I'm sure this would entail a LOT of work and would have other implications such as upping the number of ships on each server, but it would be absolutely worth it. The more you are able to expand the map, the happier your player base would be.
  8. New bad guys - Skeletons are cool, but not cool enough to only fight them for years. We could use other enemies like large animals (such as bears, wolves octopuses), elementals, warriors from Atlantis, etc. I also saw a really fun suggestion for giant invulnerable crabs that you have to throw a blunder bomb at them to flip them over, and then you can slash or shoot their bellies. I even saw an amazing drawing that a guy made of a monster even larger and more terrifying than the Kraken: Cthulhu!! I know that the Kraken only spawns once after completing a major event, but maybe Cthulhu could spawn only after somebody completes the FotD (or he could be the main boss of the fort). That would be an interesting idea!
  9. New types of wood - As long as I have been playing, we have always had many types of cannonballs. About a year ago, you guys added new types of fruit. Well, the third basic component to staying alive is wood, so why do we only have one type of wood? Heck,we even have 3 types of fish bait! There should be more types of wood, like oak, maple, pine, etc. and give each of them a different boat repair time. Maybe one piece of wood could withstand one cannonball shot and be much rarer than the other woods (similar to that of a pineapple). This wouldn't drastically improve the game, but it's just one of those small things that gives the game more diversity and makes it more fun!
  10. New types of loot - Again, this is simply to add diversity to the game. Some players seem to get bored seeing the same things over and over, so just create new types of loot with new looks and new names! Also, it would be nice to be surprised when we open up a door to a fort, kill a megalodon, finish a quest, etc. rather than know almost exactly what we're going to be rewarded with. Maybe you could make some megs randomly have WAY more gold, or maybe some forts will have like 10 stronghold chests and that's it. Just shake it up a bit to surprise us.
  11. Add more ships to servers - Server hopping is not healthy from a server management perspective. While the emissary system is a step towards fixing server hopping, it is not having its intended effect due to the lack of players using emissaries. Increasing the ship total on a server to about 8 could help this. Also, don't allow servers to be missing ships (at least, not for a long time). Some servers feel so empty because they're not completely filled. As players log in, they should only fill into servers that need more ships rather than just starting up a new server.
  12. Single person ship - I don't know how passionately I personally want this one because I love the sloop and believe it's perfectly suitable for one person, but I've seen a lot of threads about people wanting a ship more tailored to one pirate. It would be fun just to have a tiny little sail boat to cruise around the ocean with no cannons on it, I must admit. I've even seen some creative drawings online, so maybe check those concepts out and give this some consideration! Plus, it would make a lot of solo players very happy (I don't see how it could hurt adding this new tiny ship, it would basically be an upgraded rowboat).
  13. New larger ships - Look, some of us have a lot of friends who really enjoy this game. Server hopping is a pain and almost never works. Locking down a server through some shady Twitch streamer breaks the game and is unethical. Rare, we love your game, but you have to allow us to play with more than 4 people. Please, please, please make larger ships that can hold 6, 8, even 10 people!! Make a battleship with tons of cannons and a massive hull that takes a full 10 seconds to run across!! Just give us something, we're begging you!! If you're worried about this becoming unfair and ruining servers, then create servers dedicated to these mega ships where only 4 or 5 of these ships can sail around and nothing else. I'm 99% positive that different servers can have different rules, so why not make this happen? Your players want it so badly and it would solve so many problems for a lot of loyal fans and their friends.
  14. More friends in a crew - If you are absolutely unable to create a new, larger ship, then please find some creative way to create a larger crew size. Make a server where ships spawn in pairs, or something like that. I can't stress this enough, this is so important to your fan base and would allow so many more people to enjoy this game with their friends. If you ignore every other suggestion, at least make this one happen.
  15. Remove certain emotes - Tucking was fun when it was new and silly and unexpected, but now everybody does it all the time. It's impossible to do a fort without somebody popping up at the end and wasting their own time doing nothing as you shoot them twice and walk away. Literally 50% or more players are skinny and wear all black just so they can be try-hard tuckers. It's making players paranoid and annoyed and is somewhat ruining the game. Casual players can't catch a break and it's rough for a lot of new pirates out there getting constantly tortured by far better players who know how to curl up in a ball and lay down or sit in their black clothes. So why not remove these emotes? If you simply get rid of any hiding emotes, then tuckers will still exist, but have to be much more creative. They won't be able to exploit nooks and crannies in the graphic designing of the game, and will just have to honestly find a spot to hide. These emotes seem unnecessary and, at the moment, are making the game very frustrating for a lot of players.
  16. Gold sinks - As mentioned earlier, many players have hit what many people consider the "end game." They have all the skins (or all the skins they want) and millions of gold with nothing to spend it on. Not only should you all create many more skins, but you should also consider adding gold sinks so people can put their gold to practical use. Stocking up recourses can be grueling, so maybe allow players to buy cannonballs for 200 gold, wood for 100, etc. Maybe a player could spend 5,000 gold to make their ship look new again (take away the burn marks and jagged wooden boards) or maybe 2,000 could get you a collector's chest to help carry loot a little quicker. Maybe 10,000 gold could buy you a rowboat and 15,000 could get you one with a harpoon. These are just random numbers and random ideas, but some sort of a repetitive gold sink would be incredible for long time players. And if my gold numbers seem unfairly low, then double them! Whatever you need to do to make it fun and fair.
  17. Add a new carrying vessel - We have collector's chests and treasure chests for small loot, but there's no love for large loot. A skull can be worth the same amount, sometimes more than a chest, so they probably shouldn't get an unfair carrying advantage. Add a new carrying vessel for large loot, such as a wheel barrel or a net that you can drag behind you to put 2 or 3 chests on it. That would make things more balanced and pirating just a little more convenient.
  18. Slight map changes - This is a suggestions that isn't necessary, but would add a little fun to the game for new players. SoT is all about exploration, so it might be fun to only reveal parts of the map that you've previously visited (whether it's this session OR older pirating sessions). Also, it might help new players to mark where the venders are specifically on each outpost. Veterans know their locations and this gives them an advantage when selling loot. None of this is necessary, but just something to think about.
  19. Skill tree - I've seen posts about adding a skill tree to the game so that you can improve your pirate. I know that you guys want starting players to have all the same capabilities as veterans so that everything is fair and balanced, but it might be fun to look into some customization options. Maybe even instead of a skill tree, each player could just choose one perk to add to their pirate every time they go to an outpost. Here is a quick list of ideas completely taken off the SoT suggestions forum: Bigger bucket, Carry more wood, Carry more food, Stable telescope, Fast repairer, Sprinter, Deep breath, See treasure from far away, Speedy ladder climber, etc. Some other ideas I came up with would be Shark repellent, Extra sword/gun damage, Sail/wheel turning speed, etc. These perks would be interesting to look into but I could also see how they might ruin your current vision of the game. Take this suggestion with a grain of salt!
  20. Avoid AFK - We all hate when our stomach grumbles and we're stuck in the bathroom for 20 minutes just to come back and see Lazy Beard on our screen as our crew is selling 50,000 gold worth of loot. It would make sense that in order to avoid going AFK, your crew can just vote you into the brig. This should be a safe, AFK free zone where you are essentially removed from the game without missing out on the benefits you fought so hard for. I'm not sure if an enemy pirate can currently kill a player stuck in the brig, but this should be a completely invulnerable zone (other than the ship sinking). You could even add a 1 minute timer to being released from the brig so that crews can't abuse this invulnerability mechanic during combat.
  21. Casinos - Pirates are dirty, rotten, money hungry thieves. Add a casino section to the tavern where you can play mini games and gamble your loot away!! This would be a fun way to pass the time and would give players something to do for a bit when they don't feel like adventuring out on the seas. Maybe even add a super shady casino in the Pirate Legend area where you can gamble doubloons!
  22. New songs - In the same way that you can unlock and buy new skins for your pirate, you should be able to unlock songs with commendations and buy them! There are only a small handful of songs in the game, but it would be a blast if crews could show off loads of pirate tunes to other crews. This would also add a new way to spend your gold (and/or doubloons).
  23. High and low tide - This was a very interesting idea that I read a while back from a very passionate pirate. This player came up with the idea of adding extreme tides to the game. When tides are high, you can reach cliffs on islands that would otherwise be unaccessible, and when tides are low, you can explore amazing underground cave systems. Obviously, you can also cannon yourself to the high tide areas and swim down to the low tide areas if need be (for a mission or something), but this would add so much versatility to the game. Many islands would have to be redesigned, but this would literally double the adventure without necessarily expanding the map. I thought this was one of the most unique and amazing ideas I've read on this SoT Reddit page.
  24. Add gimmicks - This game is more silly than it is serious (from what I've experienced and read from the fan base) and it might be fun (and not too tilting) to add little annoying gimmicks to the game! What if 1/100 gunpowder barrels was a dud? Or what if your gun jammed in the middle of combat? What if you sold cursed loot and actually LOST a little bit of gold? There are endless ways to add tiny, infrequent gimmicks to the game!
  25. Ropes/lassos - Currently, the only reasonable way to board a ship is to climb one of the side ladders. What if you added a new boarding item? I've seen suggestions for ropes or lassos that you can toss onto your ship or other ships to climb or swing across in order to make boarding easier and more discrete. Obviously, this can't break the game, so it would have to make some sort of alarming noise, or would have to be visually obvious when it happens. I could easily see how this would be incredibly overpowered when it comes to sneaking onto an enemy ship, so this would take some balancing and play testing to make sure it works properly.
  26. Add a speedometer - This is one thing that I'm sure you guys have looked into and considered and withheld from the game for some specific reason. But because I don't know what that reason is, I'm still going to suggest it. In my opinion (and the opinion of many others), a speedometer on each ship would be very helpful. I don't know enough about pirate history to know if they had speedometers back in the day, but it would be nice just to have an idea of how fast you're sailing across the open seas directly against the wind in a giant galleon while your friend is fighting a 4 man crew by himself and screaming at you to hurry up (not like I'm speaking from experience or anything...)
  27. Add potions and a crafting table - It would be a neat idea if you could buy potions at an outpost or craft potions out of different fruits and fish that you catch. These potions could be counters to specialty cannonballs, like a potion that you drink to cure drunkenness or a snakebite, or a potion you throw at your friend to wake them up when they're asleep, or even a shark repellent potion! These potions could have a whole new key/button assigned to them so you can quickly rotate through them in the middle of combat. Additionally, you could add a crafting table to the boat next to the frying pan. In order to craft these potions. Maybe you could even craft new, rare skins at the crafting table! Or paints for your ship. And adding a new potion shop to each outpost would be another great gold sink, which is a suggestion that I mentioned earlier.
  28. More pet interactions - Pets were an awesome addition to SoT, but are just a little lackluster. They currently have very few interactions with the players and players tend to forget about them after a couple weeks. I think it would make everybody very happy if we could do more with our pets. Give them a different dance for each song, allow us to whistle so they hop right into our hands, maybe even let us talk to them! It would also be a fun little gimmick if every now and then, they brought you a fruit from an island while you're exploring, or they find you one doubloon from digging in a bush! These silly things wouldn't be game breaking and wouldn't give a noticeable advantage to any players.
  29. Fix the revive system - many players are frustrated with the new revive system. The main issue is that a galleon will almost always beat a sloop in a cannon fight because the larger crew can continuously revive any fallen comrades. After reading many forums and weighing the options, I came up with an idea that I believe will solve a lot of problems. Give each player "soul charges" that have to be earned. Each time you kill an enemy player OR kill 20 AI enemies, you gain a soul charge. Each player can hold up to 1 or 2 soul charges. You must spend a soul charge to revive a fallen crewmate. This would keep the current system in place, but would not allow any player to abuse the system as they currently are. I think it would be a great idea!
  30. Respawn immunity - This would solve an unbelievable amount of frustration for players who hate dealing with spawn killers. In my personal experience, I once played against a pirate who knew all the spawn locations and exactly where I would spawn next. Every time I came back, he was standing directly in front of my face with a blunderbuss ready, I believe he killed me 6 times while the single hole in my sloop slowly sunk me and I grasped my computer chair armrests trying to restrain myself from punching in my monitor. If players were granted just 3 seconds of immunity after respawning from the Ferry of the Damned, it would make situations like that so much more fair. This is especially relevant for new players who have no chance at all against spawn killers.
  31. Skin presets - Adding preset ship skin and pirate skin combinations would make life a lot easier. It obviously isn't a HUGE issue to not have presets, but if it's a simple addition to code into the game, it would at least save a couple minutes of searching around your collection. Could be a nice touch!
  32. Naming your boat - This is arguably the suggestion that I've seen more than anything else in the SoT Reddit page. It would be a fun, silly addition to an already fun and silly game. Many people have pointed out that there's already a blank wooden banner above the door on the galleon, so why not allow words to be written in it! You could also have the names written on the side of the ship, carved in all ugly and pirate-like. Plus, how fun would it be to sink an emissary ship and see their flag float up out of the water with their ship name on it?
  33. Market the emissaries - Please add more information and incentives to put up an emissary flag. This is a great addition to the game and the community loves it, but anyone who is not immersed in the community is just confused. Outside of outside of the game research like reading patch notes or watching a YouTube video, players have no way of learning the benefits of emissaries. The only in game interaction is a brief conversation on the outpost with a emissary leader that players may or may not find and is entirely uninformative. Most servers should have 3-4 emissaries at any given time, my experience is that I usually see 1 per server, mostly due to lack of information.
  34. Add more PVE events - Rather than just having active forts or the ship on the sky, add more events! Make a giant dig up event (symbolized by a chest in the sky) where you can uncover up to 100 chests on an island with no map whatsoever. Make a new type of raid with one of the enemies that were previously suggested in #8. Add a massive skeleton ship (thinking 16 or so cannons, 5 levels or something) that slowly sails across the server every few hours. Make it extremely difficult to bring down, but Fort of the Damned like rewarding. And make it so more than one event can show up in the sky at once. It becomes grueling and sometimes boring to have to do an event or wait for it to disappear just to do the one you sought out to do. Options would be great!
  35. MAKE THAT MERMAID LESS BUTT UGLY - Seriously, that thing is nightmare inducing... Aren't mermaids supposed to be beautiful creatures?
Overall, SoT is a wonderful, constantly growing game. It has evolved so much since the time I started playing and I have enjoyed every update so far. I really hope that many of these suggestions come to fruition, I think they would vastly improve the game and make the players incredibly happy! I understand that this is a lot, but even if these changes are released gradually in future updates, I'm sure they would make every pirate quite jolly! Thanks so much for the game Rare, and I sincerely hope you read this and consider each point. Oh, and I wouldn't mind giving you my gamertage to have my name immortalized in the game if these things work out wink wink
submitted by UrJustNotDank to Seaofthieves [link] [comments]

Imaginary Authors, a Read (House Review, kind of)

I recently sampled a good amount of the fragrances from Imaginary Authors and thought I'd shared my thoughts and opinions! I am not an avid reviewer, so I hope my words make sense and are able to help guide people in the right direction. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this indie house!
Rating Scale: Full Bottle Worthy, Must Try, Worth a Sample, Meh, Hard Pass
Telegrama
Slow Explosions
Memoirs of a Trespasser
Cape Heartache
Saint Julep
Whispered Myths
O, Unknown!
Yesterday Haze
Soft Lawn
Every Storm a Serenade
My overall assessment after experiencing these scents:
I think Imaginary Authors accomplished what they set out to do, and that is to create great stories as the backbone of the house and to use these fragrances to transport the user directly into said story. These fragrances evoke such rich backdrops and images that make you feel like you’re there. I can tell that Josh and his team put so much work into this, and it shows. From the design aspects, names of the fragrances, and the scents themselves, each step had a good amount of thought in it. One word that may come to the minds of many who read this would be ‘novelty’. Do I think they are novelties? No, I don’t. Some of these could be worn as a signature scent, and some during certain seasons of the year. They are very wearable scents in my opinion. I don’t think Josh is a master perfumer, but I don’t think he set out to be. I could be totally wrong. What he was able to do, however, was amazing in its own right, and for that, I would totally recommend this indie house to anyone looking for something new to try.
submitted by defidefi to fragrance [link] [comments]

[Amazon.ca] Cheap Canvas Art ( between 10-20$ )

Retailer: Amazon.ca
Only 1 of each in stock
Trademark Fine Art Unfolding Transformation Artwork by Monica Fleet, 14 by 19-Inch
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Cowboy Boots by Richard Wallich, Black Matte, Wood Frame 11x14-Inch
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Blue Frame White Star by Lightboxjournal, 18x18-Inch
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Trademark Fine Art ALI9165-C1219GG Baby Mobile by The Macneil Studio 12x19 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art ALI8597-C1219GG Feeding Ducks I by The Macneil Studio 12x19 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art ALI09983-C1219GG Rustic by Lantern Press, Canvas Wall Art, 12x19
Amsterdam Canals by Moises Levy, 18x18-Inch
Trademark Fine Art 1X00829-C1419GG Canvas Art, 14x19
Trademark Fine Art ALI7714-C1419GG Creamy Vanilla by Marion Rose 14x19 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Portrait of Bindo Altoviti by Raphael, 14x19 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Paysage, Temps Gris A Eragny Camille Pissarro Canvas Wall Art 14x19
Trademark Fine Art People 29 by Lantern Press, 14x19 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Flower Girls 23 by KCDoodleArt, Canvas Wall Art 14x19
Trademark Fine Art GN0017-C1419GG Guinness Time II by Guinness Brewery Wall Decor, 14x19
Snake by Unknown Artist, 16x24-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Portrait Rosalba Peale Rembrandt Peale, 16x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Travel 52 Lantern Press, 16x24 Canvas Wall Art
Sugar Shack by William Breedon, 10x19-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Cora Niele Turquoise Butterfly, 16x24
Trademark Fine Art Oak Leaf Glory by Jason Shaffer, Black Matte, Black Frame, 11" X 14"
Trademark Fine Art Flower Girls 17 by KCDoodleArt, White Matte, Black Frame 11x14
Trademark Fine Art Thomas Moulton Barn by Michael Blanchette Photography, Black Matte, Wood Frame Original Artwork, 11x14
Trademark Fine Art Travel Poster 106 by Lantern Press, 16x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Leaves on Moss by Michael Blanchette Photography, Black Matte, Wood Frame Original Artwork, 11x14
Trademark Fine Art Vintage Car by Cole Borders, 18x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art River Runs Through by Michael Blanchette Photography Artwork in White Matte with Wood Frame, 11" x 14"
Trademark Fine Art The Channel at Gravelines Evening by Georges Seurat, 14x19 Canvas Wall Art
3 Of A Kind by Marnie Bourque, 18x24-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Aspen & Wildflower by Michael Blanchette Photography, White Matte, Black Frame 11x14-Inch
French Casino by Vintage Apple Collection, 18x24-Inch
Trademark Fine Art NY Street Scenes by Philippe Hugonnard Wall Decor, 14 by 19-Inch
Trademark Fine Art ALI11661-C1824GG Teardrops by Abstract Graffiti, Canvas Wall Art, 18x24
Trademark Fine Art Fly by Moises Levy, 18X18-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Theater in Snow by Philippe Hugonnard Wall Decor, 14 by 19-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Bass Richard Wallich Canvas Wall Art 18x24
Trademark Fine Art Minneapolis Minnesota Skyline by Marlene Watson, 12x19-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Color Fun V by Beata Czyzowska Young Wall Decor, 12 by 19-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Walking on The Clouds by Philippe Sainte-Laudy Wall Decor, 12 by 19-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Moscow City Street Map by Michael Tompsett, 12x19-Inch
Merry Christmas Plaid 6 by Jean Plout, 18x18-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Pears by Wendra Canvas Wall Art, 18X18-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Gentle Soul Artwork by Carrie Schmitt, 14-Inch by 19-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Parisian Menu by Preston Artwork, 11 by 14-Inch, White Matte/Wood Frame
Trademark Fine Art Augusta Maine Skyline II by Marlene Watson Artwork, 11 by 14-Inch, White Matte/Black Fram
Trademark Fine Art Amazing Winter Sunset by Kurt Shaffer Artwork, 11 by 14-Inch, White Matte/Black Frame
Trademark Fine Art Midtown Manhattan by Philippe Hugonnard Artwork, 11 by 14-Inch, Black Matte Frame
Trademark Fine Art Winter Fog by Dave MacVicar Wood Frame, 11 by 11-Inch, Black Matte
Trademark Fine Art Love Leaf by Potman in Black Matte and Black Frame, 11 X 11-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Faith Horizontal Artwork, 11 by 14-Inch, Black Matte/Black Frame
Trademark Fine Art Rocking Sunset by Chris Moyer Frame, 11 by 14-Inch, Black Matte
Trademark Fine Art Arrivals-Jumeirah Vittaveli Wall Decor by David Evans, 8 by 24-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Dome of The US Capitol by Gregory O'Hanlon Frame, 11-Inch by 14-Inch, White Matte
Pantry D by Lisa Audit, 18x18-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Fort Worth Texas Skyline by Marlene Watson, 16x24-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Focus by Philippe Sainte-Laudy Wall Decor, 16 by 24-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Waterland Artwork by Philippe Sainte-Laudy, 16 by 24-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Winter Fun by Arie Reinhardt Taylor, 18x24 Canvas Wall Art
Brown Bear Center by Robert Michaud, 12x19-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Enter at Your Own Risk by Ariane Moshayedi Canvas Wall Art, 16x24-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Europa I by Color Bakery Wall Art, Gold Ornate Frame 11x11
Trademark Fine Art Fleurs de France II by Color Bakery, Black Matte, Wood Frame 16x16, Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art ALI4468-G1111F Chrysanthemums II by Color Bakery, Gold Ornate Frame 11x11
Trademark Fine Art Coastal Baby VII by Beth Grove, 18x18 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Expressive Firs Johann Walter Kurau, 18x18 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art East Headland Pool by Childe Hassam Canvas Wall Art 18x18
Trademark Fine Art Beautiful Christmas IX by Tina Lavoie, 18x18 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art ALI37025-C1818GG John Nolan Homage to Lichtenstein, Multicolor
Trademark Fine Art ALI11147-C1818GG Graduate by Tammy Kushnir, Canvas Wall Art, 18x18
Trademark Fine Art Jenaya Jackson Sweet Baby Boy I Wall Décor, 14 x 32
Trademark Fine Art Fleurs Blanc II Color Bakery, Black Matte, Black Frame 16x16
Trademark Fine Art A Jar of Wildflowers by Lois Bryan, White Matte, Black Frame 16x16
Trademark Fine Art Gerbera Daisy by Color Bakery Wall Art, Gold Ornate Frame 11x14
Trademark Fine Art ALI4587-B1616MF Bad Cat I by Color Bakery, White Matte, Black Frame 16x16
Trademark Fine Art Orchards in Blossom View of Arles by Van Gogh, 18x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art The Unicorn in Captivity by Unknown, 16x24, Multiple
Hot Springs Of The Yellowstone by Thomas Moran, 16x24-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Two Palms by Sheila Gold Ornate Frameen, Canvas Wall Art 18x18"
Trademark Fine Art ALI09489-C1624GG Silhouette Lantern Press, Canvas Wall Art, 16x24
Ukuleles by Robert Harding Picture Library, 16x24-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Umbrella Skies I by Color Bakery Wall Art, White Matte, Wood Frame 16x16
Trademark Fine Art ALI34622-C1818GG Marcia Baldwin Wall Decor, Multicolor
Trademark Fine Art 1X00136-C1818GG Canvas Art, 18x18
Trademark Fine Art Robin Betterley Fine Art, Multicolor
Trademark Fine Art Selfportrait 3 Van Gogh, 18x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Judaica Folk Cat: LINE Art by Oxana Ziaka, 18x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Ponthus Beech by Christophe Kiciak, 16x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Flower Design 2" by KCDoodleArt Artwork in White Matte with Birch Frame, 11" x 14"
Trademark Fine Art Fairies and Woodland Creatures 17" by KCDoodleArt Artwork in White Matte with Silver Frame, 11x14
Trademark Fine Art Follow The Light by Michael Blanchette Photography, Black Matte, Silver Frame Original Artwork, 11x14
Trademark Fine Art Flowering Dogwood by Michael Blanchette Photography Artwork in White Matte with Birch Frame, 11x14
Trademark Fine Art Akaka Falls by Chris Moyer Wood Frame, 11 by 14-Inch, White Matte
Trademark Fine Art Particles of Landscape by Josh Byer Wall Art Black Matte, Black Frame 11x14
Trademark Fine Art Paint Dipped Shoe Blue by Roderick Stevens, 8x19 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Only Love Framed Artwork by Dan Monteavaro, 11 by 14-Inch, Black Matte/Wood Frame
Trademark Fine Art ALI4564-S1114MF Winter Game Four by Color Bakery, White Matte, Silver Frame 11x14
Trademark Fine Art Metropolitain by Philippe Hugonnard Artwork, 11 by 14-Inch, Black Matte Frame
Trademark Fine Art Architectural Grandeur by Philippe Hugonnard Artwork, 11 by 14-Inch, Black Matte/Wood Frame
Trademark Fine Art Plume 2 by Sylvie Demers Frame, 16-Inch by 16-Inch, White Matte
Trademark Fine Art La Cuisine V by Color Bakery Wall Art, Black Matte, Silver Frame 11x11
Happy Moose by Howard Robinson, 18x24-Inch
Trademark Fine Art The Lyricist by Egon Schiele, 18x18 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art WAP00650-C2424GG Farm Friends VIII by Lisa Audit 24x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art ALI15260-C1224GG Marion Rose 'Moving at Dusk' Canvas Art, 12x24
Trademark Fine Art Football Mums Bob Rouse, 16x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Starry Night in Arizona I by Moises Levy in White Matte and Wood Framed Artwork, 11 by 14-Inch
Trademark Fine Art GN0079-C2424GG Guinness XIX Wall Decor, 24x24
Trademark Fine Art Colors of Tuscany I by Color Bakery Wall Art, White Matte, Birch Frame 11x11
Trademark Fine Art Love Notes I by Color Bakery Wall Art, Gold Ornate Frame 11x11
Trademark Fine Art ALI10892-C2424GG Great Tit Michelle Campbell, 24x24
Trademark Fine Art Baltimore Maryland Skyline Artwork with Wooden Frame by Marlene Watson, 16-Inch by 20-Inch, Black Matte
Trademark Fine Art Madison Wisconsin Skyline by Michael Tompsett, 12x19 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Tokyo Japan Skyline by Michael Tompsett in White Matte and Black Framed Artwork, 16 by 20-Inch
White Green Camp by Nicole Dietz, 24x24-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Two Sleeping Children by Peter Paul Rubens, 24x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art April Showers Inspiration II by Laura Marshall Canvas Wall Art 24x24
Trademark Fine Art ALI5154-G1111F Tuscany Caffe VI by Alan Blaustein, Gold Ornate Frame, 11" X 11"
Trademark Fine Art Gotham Side of London Canvas Wall Art by Giuseppe Torre, 16 by 24-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Visions by Philippe Sainte-Laudy Wall Decor, 16 by 24-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Happiness Horizontal Artwork, 11 by 14-Inch, White/Gold Ornate Frame
Trademark Fine Art Happiness Vertical Artwork, 11 by 14-Inch, White/Gold Ornate Frame
Trademark Fine Art Bold Wagon II by Emily Kalina, 18x24
Daisies of the Desert by Michael Blanchette Photography, 22x32-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Love Notes II by Color Bakery, Gold Ornate Frame 16x16-Inch
Trademark Fine Art ALI10849-C2232GG Bedlington Print by Michelle Campbell, Canvas Wall Art, 22x32
Trademark Fine Art Ripples by Ariane Moshayedi Canvas Wall Art, 22x32-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Floral On Mineral by Philippe Sainte-Laudy Wall Art, Black Matte, Silver Frame 11x14
Trademark Fine Art Johannesburg South Africa Skyline by Michael Tompsett in Black Matte and Black Framed Artwork, 16 by 20-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Friendship Wall Decor, 18 by 24-Inch, Horizontal Black
Bull Run by Robert Harding Picture Library, 12x19-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Atlas by CATeyes Canvas Wall Art, 22x32-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Invisible Soul Juliana Nan, 24x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Portrait Madame Paulin Renoir, 22x32 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Sleep Tight by Fiona Stokes-Gilbert, 24x24 Canvas Wall Art
Be Still I am God by Bob Rouse, 22x32-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Sheep 2 by Robert Harding Picture Library, 22x32-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Beeeaters in Love Mario Suarez, 22x32 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Portrait Catherine Ii Dmitry Levitsky, 22x32 Canvas Wall Art
Gypsy Sea Type Border Star Orange by Lightboxjournal, 22x32-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Lightning Campground Mike Jones Photo, 22x32 Canvas Wall Art, Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Happiness Lighted Wallpaper by Marcee Duggar, 24x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art The Song of The Autumn Artwork by Mathieu Rivrin, 12-Inch by 19-Inch
Trademark Fine Art ALI9166-C2232GG Baby in Cot by The Macneil Studio 22x32 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art ALI4508-T1616MF Petals Impasto III Color Bakery, White Matte, Birch Frame 16x16
Trademark Fine Art Rainbow Angel by Natasha Wescoat Wall Art, Black Matte, Silver Frame 16x20
The Orange Carpet by Huib Limberg, 24x24-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art ALI8537-C2432GG Playing Guitar by The Macneil Studio 24x32 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Basketball Hoop Patent 1965 White by Claire Doherty, 24x32 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art A Jar of Wildflowers by Lois Bryan, White Matte, Silver Frame 16x16
Trademark Fine Art Sea Dahlias I by Color Bakery Wall Art, Gold Ornate Frame 16x20
Trademark Fine Art Red Barn in Snow by Michael Blanchette Photography, Black Matte, Birch Frame Original Artwork, 11x14
Trademark Fine Art True Love Never Dies Artwork by Lois Bryan, 11 by 14-Inch, Black Frame, Black Matte
Trademark Fine Art I'll Be There by Philippe Sainte-Laudy Wall Decor, 16 by 24-Inch
Nights by Chris Bliss, 24x32-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Graffiti Fall Wall Decor by Kurt Shaffer, 24-Inch X 32-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Cape Cod Light by Michael Blanchette Photography, Canvas Wall Art 22x32
by Trademark Fine Art
Trademark Fine Art Pittsburgh Pennsylvania Street Map II by Michael Tompsett, 24x32-Inch
Trademark Fine Art LBR053-1622M 16x22 Cardinal in Winter Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art STL ATC by 08 Left, 22x32-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Xmas Flag I by Fiona Stokes-Gilbert, 22x32 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Floater by Michael Blanchette Photography Artwork in White Matte with Birch Frame, 16" x 20"
Trademark Fine Art ALI4420-G1616F Moon Bird by Color Bakery, Gold Ornate Frame 16x16
Trademark Fine Art ALI4550-G1616F Houndstooth VIII by Color Bakery, Gold Ornate Frame 16x16
Morning Breaks by Mel Brackstone, 22x32-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Two Wolves by Howard Robinson, 14x19-Inch
Victory by Jai Johnson, 22x32-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Postcard Sketches I Artwork by Anne Tavoletti, 14 by 14-Inch
Trademark Fine Art Pear I by Marion Rose, 24x32-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Cooksville Barn by Arie Reinhardt Taylor, 24x32 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Pigeon Forge in The Winter Arie Reinhardt Taylor, 24x32 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Pelicans at Sea by Jai Johnson, 24x32 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Autumn Reds III by Beata Czyzowska Young, 22x32 Fine Art, Multicolor
Trademark Fine Art Canal Reflection by Michael Blanchette Photography, Black Matte, Silver Frame Original Artwork, 16x20
Trademark Fine Art Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I Artwork by Gustav Klimt, 14 by 14-Inch
Trademark Fine Art The Tractor by Massimo Della Latta, 22x32 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Large Bird Menagerie Ii Wall Decor by Wendy Russell, 6x19
Trademark Fine Art Did I Hear You Say Walk Cairn Terrier Jai Johnson, 24x24 Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art Chickasaw Redtail by Jai Johnson, 22x32-Inch Canvas Wall Art
Trademark Fine Art WAP05071-C1414GG Lisa Audit Wall Decor, Multicolor
Flower Design 4 by KCDoodleArt, Gold Ornate Frame Original Artwork, 16x20"
Trademark Fine Art ALI10971-C1419GG Infatuation II by Tina Lavoie, Canvas Wall Art, 14x19
Trademark Fine Art Animals Eclectic Canvas Art, 16x24
Trademark Fine Art Planet 237 Gold Ornate Frame by Runa, 12x24 Canvas Wall Art
submitted by DealsCanada to ShopCanada [link] [comments]

Collecting California brewery bottle caps...where can I find more?

I am trying to collect bottle caps from as many CA-based based breweries as possible...I think I've bought all the individual ones currently available on eBay. Looking for recommendations on where I might be able to find more, whether for individual sale or in bulk. I even have a list of the breweries I'm still missing. I lived in CA for several years where my collection began. I'm trying to get bottle caps from 61 different breweries to fill a wooden map of CA. Currently I have 25.
I've posted in CaliforniaBeer as well, just looking for whatever recommendations are out there.

Edit: Breweries I am currently looking for listed below

• 21st Amendment Brewery in San Leandro • Ale Industries in Oakland • Altamont Beer Works in Livermore • Buffalo Bill's Brewery in Hayward • Cleophus Quealy Beer Company in San Leandro • Diving Dog Brewhouse in Oakland • Drake's Brewing Company in San Leandro • Eight Bridges Brewing Company in Livermore • Faction Brewing in Alameda • Fieldwork Brewing Company in Berkeley • Hoi Polloi Brewpub and Beat Lounge in Berkeley • JP DasBrew in Fremont • Oakland United Beerworks (formerly Linden Street Brewery) in Oakland • Old Kan Beer & Co. in Oakland • The Rare Barrel in Berkeley • Shadow Puppet Brewing Company in Livermore • Triple Rock Brewery and Alehouse in Berkeley • Trumer Brauerei in Berkeley • Woods Bar & Brewery in Oakland • Working Man Brewing Company in Livermore 
Amador County
• Amador Brewing Company in Plymouth • Butte County • Sierra Nevada Brewing Company headquarters in Chico • Eckert Malting and Brewing in Chico • Feather Falls Casino Brewing Company in Oroville • Feather River Brewing Company in Magalia • NorCal Brewing in Chico • Secret Trail Brewing in Chico 
Contra Costa County
• Calicraft in Walnut Creek • Danville Brewing Company in Danville • E.J. Phair Brewing Company in Pittsburg • Farm Creek Brewing Company in Walnut Creek • Elevation 66 Brewing Company in El Cerrito • Schubros Brewery in San Ramon • Epidemic Ales in Concord • Ocean View Brew Works in Albany 
El Dorado County
• The Brewery at Lake Tahoe in South Lake Tahoe • Cold Water Brewery and Grill in South Lake Tahoe • Cool Beerwerks in Cool • El Dorado Brewing Company in Diamond Springs • Gold Hill Winery and Brewery in Placerville • HWY 50 Brewery in Camino • Jack Russell Farm Brewery in Camino • Lake Tahoe AleWorX in South Lake Tahoe • Mraz Brewing Company in El Dorado Hills • Outbreak Brewing Company in Placerville • Outpost Brewing Company in South Lake Tahoe • Placerville Brewing Company in Placerville • Sidellis Lake Tahoe in South Lake Tahoe • Solid Ground Brewing in Diamond Springs • South Lake Brewing Company in South Lake Tahoe • Stash Brewing Co. in Garden Valley • Stateline Brewery and Restaurant in South Lake Tahoe 
Fresno County
• The Mad Duck Craft Brewery in Fresno • Fresno Brewing Company in Fresno • Full Circle Brewing in Fresno • Pine & Palm Brewing in Fresno • Tactical OPS Brewing in Fresno • Tioga–Sequoia Brewing Company in Fresno 
Humboldt County
• Eel River Brewing Company in Fortuna • Redwood Curtain Brewing Company in Arcata • Six Rivers Brewery in McKinleyville 
Inyo County
• Mountain Rambler Brewery in Bishop 
Kern County
• Crusader Brewing in Bakersfield • Dionysus Brewing Company in Bakersfield • Great Change Brewing in Bakersfield • Kern River Brewing Company in Kernville • Lengthwise Brewing in Bakersfield • Local Craft Beer in Tehachapi • Temblor Brewing Company in Bakersfield 
Kings County
• Bird Street Brewing in Lemoore • Hop Forged Brewing Company in Hanford 
Lake County
Los Angeles County
Madera County
• South Gate Brewing Company in Oakhurst 
Marin County
• Adobe Creek Brewing in Novato • Indian Valley Brewing in Novato • Iron Springs Pub & Brewery in Fairfax • Marin Brewing in Larkspur • Moylan's Brewery in Novato • Pond Farm Brewing in San Rafael • The State Room in San Rafael 
Mariposa County
• Yosemite Ale Werks in Mariposa 
Merced County
• Bobcat Brewing Company in Merced 
Mono County
• Mammoth Brewing Company in Mammoth Lakes • June Lake Brewing in June Lake 
Monterey County
• Alvarado Street Brewery in Monterey • Cannery Row Brewing Company in Monterey • English Ales in Marina • Peter B's Brew Pub in Monterey • Yeast of Eden in Carmel 
Napa County
• Calistoga Inn, Restaurant and Brewing in Calistoga • Downtown Joe's Brewery in Napa • Mad Fritz in St. Helena • Napa Smith Brewery in Napa • St. Clair Brown in Napa • Tannery Bend Beerworks in Napa • Trade Brewing in Napa 
Nevada County
• FiftyFifty Brewing Company in Truckee • Nevada Brewery in Nevada City • Ol' Republic Brewery in Nevada City • Tahoe Mountain Brewing Company in Truckee • Three Forks Bakery & Brewing Company in Nevada City 
Orange County
• Anaheim Brewery in Anaheim • Barley Forge Brewing Company in Costa Mesa • Brewing Reserve of California in Costa Mesa • Bootlegger's Brewery in Fullerton and Costa Mes • Bottle Logic Brewing, Anaheim • Cismontane Brewing Company in Santa Ana • The Good Beer Company in Santa Ana • Green Cheek Beer Company in Orange • Gunwhale Ales in Costa Mesa • Laguna Beach Beer Company in Rancho Santa Margarita and Laguna Beach • Left d Brewing Company in San Clemente and Irvine • Network Brewery in Santa Ana • Noble Ale Works in Anaheim • Old Orange Brewing Company in Orange • Riip Beer Company in Huntington Beach • TAPS Brewery & Barrel Room in Tustin • Tustin Brewing Company in Tustin • Valiant Brewing Company in Orange 
Placer County
• Auburn Alehouse in Auburn • Boneshaker Public House and Community Brewery in Rocklin • Crooked Lane Brewing Company in Auburn • GoatHouse Brewing Company in Lincoln • Knee Deep Brewing Company in Auburn • Loomis Basin Brewing Company in Loomis • Moksa Brewing in Rocklin • Moonraker Brewing Company in Auburn • Out of Bounds Brewing Company in Rocklin • Slice Beer Company in Lincoln • The Monk's Cellar in Roseville 
Plumas County
• The Brewing Lair of the Sierra (formerly UnderCover Ale Works) • Waganupa Brewing in Chester • Quintopia Brewing Co in Quincy 
Riverside County
• Aftershock Brewing Company in Temecula • Area 51 Craft Brewery in Riverside • Babe's BBQ & Brewhouse in Rancho Mirage • Black Market Brewing Company in Temecula • Brew Rebellion in Banning • Brewcaipa Brewing in Yucaipa • Coachella Valley Brewing in Thousand Palms • Desert Beer Company in Palm Desert • Electric Brewing Company in Murrieta • Grey Wolf in Norco • Inland Empire Brewing Company in Riverside • Ironfire Brewing Company in Temecula • La Quinta Brewing in Palm Desert • Las Palmas Brewing in Palm Springs • Refuge Brewery in Temecula • Wiens Brewing Company in Temecula • Woody's Brewhouse in Moreno Valley 
Sacramento County
• Alaro Brewing in Sacramento • At Ease Brewing in Sacramento • Big Sexy Brewing in Sacramento • Big Stump Brew Co. in Sacramento • Burning Barrel Brewing in Rancho Cordova • Claimstake Brewing in Rancho Cordova • Delta Borne Brewing in Sacramento • Device Brewing Company in Sacramento • Dreaming Dog Brewery in Elk Grove • Flatland Brewing in Elk Grove • Fort Rock Brewing in Rancho Cordova • Fountainhead Brewing in Sacramento • Hoppy Brewing Co in Sacramento • King Cong Brewing Company in Sacramento • New Glory Craft Brewery in Sacramento • New Helvetia Brewing in Sacramento • Oak Park Brewing in Sacramento • Palm Tree Brewing Company in Orangevale • Porchlight Brewing in Sacramento • Red Bus Brewing in Folsom • River Rock Brewery in Galt • Sacrament Brewing in Sacramento • Tower Brewing in Sacramento • Track 7 Brewing Company in Sacramento • Tilted Mash Brewing in Elk Grove • Urban Roots Brewing in Sacramento 
San Bernardino County
• 3 Iron Brewing Co. in Colton • Brewcaipa in Yucaipa • Desert Barn Brewery in Hesperia • Escape Craft Brewery in Redlands • Hangar 24 Craft Brewery in Redlands • I & I Brewing in Chino • Kings Brewing in Rancho Cucamonga • Oak Hills Brewing Company in Hesperia • Ritual Brewing Co. in Redlands • Rowdy's Brew Co. in Rancho Cucamonga • Sour Cellars in Rancho Cucamonga 
San Francisco City and County
• 21st Amendment Brewery • Barrel Head Brewhouse • Beach Chalet Brewery & Restaurant • Black Sands Brewery • Black Hammer Brewing • Cellarmaker Brewing Company • Cervezería de MateVeza • Eagle Brewery • Enterprise Brewery • Fort Point Beer Company • Golden City Brewery • Hamm's Brewer • Harmonic Brewing • Hibernia Brewery • Laughing Monk Brewing • Lafayette Brewery • Local Brewing Company • Magnolia Brewing Company • Schuster's Railroad Brewery • Seven Stills • Southern Pacific Brewing • Speakeasy Ales and Lagers • Sunset Reservoir Brewing Company • Thirsty Bear Brewing Company • Triple Voodoo Brewing • Washington Brewery • Willow's Brewery 
San Joaquin County
• Dancing Fox Winery and Brewery in Lodi • Five Window Beer Company in Lodi • High Water Brewing Company in Lodi • Idol Beer Works in Lodi • Lodi Beer Company in Lodi • Morgan Territory Brewing in Tracy 
San Luis Obispo County
• 927 Beer Company in Cambria • BarrelHouse Brewing Co. in Paso Robles • Libertine Brewing Company in San Luis Obispo • Tap It Brewing Company in San Luis Obispo 
San Mateo County
• 47 Hills Brewing in South San Francisco • Alpha Acid Brewing Company in Belmont • Armstrong Brewing Company in South San Francisco • Blue Oak Brewing Company in San Carlos • Devil's Canyon Brewing Company in Belmont • Freewheel Brewing Company in Redwood City • Half Moon Bay Brewing Company in Princeton-by-the-Sea • Highway 1 Brewing in Pescadero • Hop Dogma Brewing in El Granada • Sacrilege Brewery + Kitchen in Half Moon Bay 
Santa Barbara County
• Captain Fatty's Brewery in Goleta • Island Brewing Company in Carpinteria • M. Special Brewing Company in Goleta • Pure Order Brewing Company in Santa Barbara • Solvang Brewing Company in Solvang • Telegraph Brewing Company in Santa Barbara 
Santa Clara County
• Clandestine Brewing in San Jose • El Toro Brewing Company in Morgan Hill • Gordon Biersch Brewing Company in San Jose • Hermitage Brewing Company in San Jose • Kelly Brewing in Morgan Hill 
Santa Cruz County
• Discretion Brewing in Soquel • Humble Sea Brewing Company in Santa Cruz • New Bohemia Brewing Company in Capitola • Santa Cruz Mountain Brewing in Santa Cruz • Sante Adairius Rustic Ales in Capitola • Seabright Brewery in Santa Cruz • Steel Bonnet Brewing Company in Scotts Valley • Uncommon Brewers in Santa Cruz 
Shasta County
• Fall River Brewing Co. in Fall River Mills • Wildcard Brewing in Redding • Final Draft Brewing in Redding • Woody's Brewing Co. in Redding 
Siskiyou County
• Dunsmuir Brewery Works in Dunsmuir • Etna Brewing Company in Etna • Mt. Shasta Brewing Company in Weed • Siskiyou Brew Works 
Solano Countu
• Heretic Brewing Company in Fairfield • Right Eye Brewery in Suisun • Mare Island Brewing Company in Vallejo 
Sonoma County
• Carneros Brewing Company in Sonoma • Fog Belt Brewing Company in Santa Rosa • Moonlight Brewing Company in Santa Rosa • Old Redwood Brewing Company in Windsor • Petaluma Hills Brewing Company in Petaluma • Seismic Brewing Company in Santa Rosa • Sonoma Springs Brewing Company in Sonoma • St. Florian's Brewery in Windsor • Stumptown Brewery in Guerneville • Third Street Aleworks in Santa Rosa 
Stanislaus County
• St. Stan's Brewery in Modesto • Blaker Brewing in Ceres 
Ventura County
• Anacapa Brewing in Ventura • Casa Agria Specialty Ales in Ventura • Enegren Brewing Co. in Moorpark • Flat Fish Brewing Company in Camarillo • Institution Ale Co. in Camarillo • Leashless Brewing Co. in Ventura • MadeWest Brewing in Ventura • Poseidon Brewing Company in Ventura • Red Tandem Brewery in Ventura • Surf Brewery in Ventura • Topa Topa Brewing Company in Ventura • Ventura Coast Brew Co. in Ventura • Westlake Brewing Co. in Westlake Village 
Yolo County
• Bike Dog Brewing Company in West Sacramento • Dunloe Brewing in Davis • Jackrabbit Brewing Company in West Sacramento • Super Owl Brewing in Davis • Three Mile Brewing Company in Davis • Yolo Brewing in West Sacramento 
San Diego County
• Burgeon Beer Company • Carlsbad Brewing Company • Pizza Port • Rouleur Brewing Company • Offbeat Brewing Co • Nickel Beer Company • Bagby Beer Company • Legacy Brewing Company • Breakwater Brewing Co • Oceanside Ale Works • ChuckAlek Independent Brewers • Abnormal Beer Company • Acoustic Ales Brewing Experiment • Align Brewing • Amplified Aleworks • The Beer Company • Deft Brewing • Division 23 Brewing • Duck Foot Brewing Company • Eppig Brewing • Fall Brewing • Kilowatt Brewing • Little Miss Brewing • Longship Brewery • Mike Hess Brewing Co. • Mikkeller • Mission Brewery • Modern Times Beer • New English Brewing Co. • North Park Beer Company • O'Sullivan Brother's Brewing • Pacific Beach Alehouse • Pariah Brewing Company • Protector Brewing • Rip Current Brewing • Rough Draft Brewing Company • Saint Archer Brewing • San Diego Brewing Company • Savagewood • Societe Brewing Company • Thorn Street Brewery • Thunderhawk Alements • Lost Abbey • Port Brewing Company • Rip Current Brewing Company • Stumblefoot Brewing Company • Wild Barrel Brewing Company • Aztec Brewing Company • Barrel Harbor Brewing • Belching Beaver Brewery • Booze Brothers Brewing Company • Indian Joe Brewing Company • Latitude 33 Brewing • Mother Earth Brew Co. • Toolbox Brewing 
Culture Brewing Co
submitted by Charlie--Dont--Surf to beer [link] [comments]

In The House #Gaming Night! An Option to Your Stay-At-Home Blues!

In The House #Gaming Night! An Option to Your Stay-At-Home Blues!
Currently readily available to the public, genuine #slot #machines that were used in #Las #Vegas #casinos!
IN THE NEW AGE
http://inthenewage.com
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submitted by itnaarcade8 to u/itnaarcade8 [link] [comments]

Extraterrestrial Full Moon Marathon

### Race information * **What?** ET Full Moon Marathon * **When?** August 17th (Midnight), 2019 * **How far?** 26.2 miles * **Website?** http://calicoracing.com/events/et-full-moon/
### Goals | Goal | Description | Completed? | |------|-------------|------------| | A |PR <4:52 | *Yes* | | B |<4:30 | *No* | | C |UFO Sighting | *No* |
### Training I started running regularly again in November 2018, eight months post-partum. I was consistently running about 10-20 miles a week through February 2019 in preparation for a half marathon I ran in April 2019 (Oak Island Lighthouse Half Marathon, see my post history for race report).
After the half in April I wanted to run another full marathon. My husband and I decided on the ET Full Moon Marathon since Vegas would be a fun vacation and we like sci-fi stuff. I started ramping up my miles to peak at around 60 miles per week for a few weeks. I didn't follow a specific training plan. This was going to be my second full marathon and I figured as long as I got in a good mid-week long-ish run and a long run on the weekend with at least two other days of running then I would be good (example: Spinning on Peloton on Monday, 3 miles Tuesday, 10 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 3 miles + Strength training on Friday, 20 miles Saturday, Spinning on Peloton + Strength on Sunday). I had a three week taper and went down on mileage 25% each week from peak.
My goal pace going into the marathon was to hit 9:30 per mile or complete in under 4:30. I did physical therapy for two months prior to the race for trigger point dry needling d/t tight IT bands and plantar fasciitis. The PT helped immensely and I had no pain when running for three weeks leading up to the race. I did the strengthening exercises my PT recommended each day and tolerated having needles stuck in my feet, calves, and thighs. Worth it. As a treat I got new shoes a few weeks before the marathon: Nike ZoomFly Next%. They feel amazing. I wore them for one 20 mile run, a 3 mile run, and a 10 mile run. Normally I wear last year's model of Nike Zoom Fly's that were $40 at the Nike outlet.
### Pre-race Got to Las Vegas 2 days before the marathon to adjust to the time zone. We stayed up stupid late (like 2-3am), saw some shows, gambled, etc. Just enjoyed the city and ate a crap ton of carbs.
Got to the Silver Sevens Casino for packet pickup at 8pm night of the race. It's an off-strip casino and was fine. Got on one of the chartered buses for the 2.5 hour ride north of Las Vegas for the run. The start was good, everyone taking pictures with one of the volunteer's motorcycles that had an inflatable alien on the back and the black mailbox (google it).
The start was just a gun start, no timing mat. Only 88 marathon runners so everyone crossed pretty fast.
### Miles [1] to [13.1] It was dark. Like seriously dark. It's the desert, it's lonely, and we're all running different paces. My headlamp reduced the world to the little light in front of me. After awhile I got tired of wearing it and held it in my hand as I ran. Saw a dead cow around mile 12 in the road, had to make sure to not get caught in of the cattle guards on the road, tried not to run over a dead rabbit around mile 8, and just tried to stay focused. This was a marathon unlike any race I'd done before. No crowds, no cheering, just you and the darkness. It felt almost spiritual how quiet and still everything was. Then I said screw it, too quiet, put on my headphones and listened to podcasts the rest of the race (My Favorite Murder and Welcome to Nightvale).
There was one hill. Over 1200 feet of elevation change over 13 miles. I did not anticipate this and should have really read the elevation map. Oops. I did not prepare for this. I did multiple long runs on a treadmill with little to no hills. My longest run outdoors (20 miles, did this 2x outdoors) had only 600 feet of elevation change. This race was 1200 feet of climb that then leveled out. It felt unending and soul breaking. I was like a hamster on a ramp and I slowed way down with my slowest mile being at at 12:03 pace. After it leveled out I struggled to regain energy and try to speed things up.
### Miles [13.1] to [26.2] Saw three shooting starts around mile 15 and took this as a good omen to speed the hell up, getting to an 8:30 mile for two miles. I don't have accurate pacing info since my Apple Watch died at mile 20 and did not record the run. I did stop to have a fellow runner who was taking a walk break take my pic in front of the ET Highway sign (see below). I hated the turn around at mile 20 since it was 5k out and back and so freaking cold. It was around 59F when I finished and I had on only a tank top and shorts. The finish was pretty empty but I should have expected that since the larger 5K and 10K races finished hours earlier. I grabbed some snacks and got on the bus with my now very chilly husband.
### Post-race I was disappointed in myself after the race, honestly. A marathon is cool and all but I wanted a bigger PR. I should have expected that hill, trained for that hill, but I didn't and I failed to meet it at the speed I wanted to go. Now that I've had a few days to think about it I'm more at peace with how it went but I was in the dumps for awhile.
### What's next? Getting ready to run the City of Oaks Half Marathon in November 2019. I've done this race before, anticipate the hills, and am looking forward to starting training in one or two weeks. Until then just spinning and walking 5 miles a day.
### Pictures * [Me before we started... My shirt says "The Truth is Out There", I made it](https://imgur.com/c9zUdLA) * [At the Extraterrestrial Highway Sign](https://imgur.com/a/AVVxp8J)
*This report was generated using [race reportr](http://racereportr.azurewebsites.net), a tool built by [BBQLays](https://www.reddit.combbqlays) for making great looking and informative race reports.*
submitted by OhSoImpatient to running [link] [comments]

Weekly Events Thread 12/30/19 - 1/5/20

Please, feel free to add any events below! Check out the Events Calendar and Visitor's Guide for more info!

Looking to meet up with people? Check out Meetup St. Louis.

New Year's Eve Events



Sporting Events This Week
Attractions Around the Area
Recurring Outdoor Activities
Recurring Events on the Mississippi River
Comedy This Week
Live Music This Week
submitted by STLhistoryBuff to StLouis [link] [comments]

JP Summer 2019 Story according to someone who can't read! HIMEJI-Casino IN COLOR

------------------------
Disclaimer
The following is the interpretation of a story in Japanese by a man who can't read Japanese, it merely made for comedic purposes and does not reflect the actual writing of the original story.

----------------------------

HIMEJI Casino
The chapter opens with our NEET-Princess monologing in a game of ~~PUBG~~ ~~Fortnite~~ ~~APEX Legends~~, just whatever battle royale game you guys like the most. Type-moon being type-moon I can only assume she is rambling on something about survival of the fittest or some other philosophy, also don’t mind the [kiyo in the background, she’s not actually there]( https://i.imgur.com/pjTocoL.png), I’ll get to her in a bit.

The scene switches back to our protagonists, heading towards Casino HIMEJI, we speculate that it’s probably Okki and I am thoroughly surprised that her casino isn’t the Castle JANGATM we all know and love. There is nothing out of the ordinary, there’s slots, roulette, poker but for some reason there’s hanafuda (which is basically the Japanese version of playing cards, google it). Enter, King of the Jungle, [Jaguarman (Tiger) and OG Illya]( https://i.imgur.com/PptSh4F.png), Tiger gets hyped at the sight of the hanafuda cards and challenges Illya. Illya feels obliged to see who is the better goddess and the two end up duelling, I can only assume the duel went like this, https://youtu.be/OSqkRU8V2iA?t=176. Mashu questions why there are servants who aren’t in swimsuits here but Siegfried ain’t got time to answer that so we shall promptly ignore Mashu. There we spot [a line to enter the battle royale]( https://i.imgur.com/W945KJH.png) and ask for Okki however… [You were expecting Okki but it was me KIYOHIME.]( https://i.imgur.com/k7cbLUO.jpg)

[CHOICE:]( https://i.imgur.com/TpTNr0J.png)

[Say nothing due to PTSD from first summer event/ Valentine/ just general Kiyo things.]

[Morning, any progress yet? (I can only assume that this is throwing some shade at her lack of character development)]

[Kiyohime SHOCK~.](https://i.imgur.com/HuKf6fS.png) But she recovers and calls you a tease and she likes it like that. [So, no progress.](https://i.imgur.com/xUbpA8M.png) Time to move the plot along, Kiyo askes us if we’re taking part in the event, which we are and question what Kiyo is doing here. It turns out Okki and Kiyo were running this casino together but then Okki being the NEET she is, refused to work and decided to have fun instead.

Scene switches to an on-going match, where a bunch of assorted mobs get owned by the best team at the moment. Enter ~~Team Liquid~~, Osakabehime, Anne Bonny, Black Beard and Mecha Eli MK2. They effortlessly win and [hi-fives]( https://i.imgur.com/XsSzz2G.png) and [weird handshakes]( https://i.imgur.com/bbSCkWP.png) all around, Mecha Eli complains that she didn’t even get to participate, Okki assures her by saying that she’s basically like the last boss for their team.

So long story short in exchange for bringing Okki back (dead or alive, but alive is preferable) we get the event item which lets us progress the story, however we lack the necessary member to participate and I quote, [‘Mashu and Master are a bit too heavy to carry’.]( https://i.imgur.com/6DEZfPY.png) Wow Musashi, just wow. But it’s true, we do need someone to carry this team of scrubs. Enter, [~~Fabulous~~ Mysterious Onii-san.]( https://i.imgur.com/pgXaS05.png) He comes in with a Hawaiian mood but he is a year too late, so in order to make up for lost time he has decided ‘gift’ us a free stay at GILDALAY Hotel… for free of course…

Also, [“Hello Children.”]( https://i.imgur.com/ZNSar0U.png) This man could not get any shadier, if he was in a van and was handing out candy, I would totally jump in the van, no lie.

We head over to the hotel to be greeted by, ~~gorgeous P~~ Gilgamesh (caster) and we ask him [where d’eon (DW, maid outfit, when?!?) and the queen of Sheba are.]( https://i.imgur.com/tV7XvzL.png) It appears that d’eon is working at a casino (bunny d’eon hint?) and the queen has gone into the casino business instead, leaving our casgil understaffed. He did attempt to hire some fresh hands but the results were… flashbacks to, [‘I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS JOB ENTAILS BUT I WANT IN!’]( https://i.imgur.com/KrMCdYK.png), [‘Heard you need a diva.’]( https://i.imgur.com/1ebQhIc.png) And [‘I charge 1 carrot an hour’]( https://i.imgur.com/poolTzY.png)……) pretty good cause he got [Lanling]( https://i.imgur.com/nLr9583.png)……) somehow… anyhow, about our free stay… which obviously [had a catch, CAUSE NOTHING IS EVER TRULY FREE!]( https://i.imgur.com/QkMBH1I.png) So we proceed to beat the keys out of Casgil.

If anyone was wondering why the battle started with Lanling stunned, [because he had to take a business call.]( https://i.imgur.com/hoBNO2h.png)

[Battle Ensures]

We get the keys and proceed to check in. [Kiyo suggests we share rooms and everyone else gets their own]( https://i.imgur.com/edHqPxJ.png), classic kiyo~. We cuck her once again and [EVERYONE is getting their own rooms.]( https://i.imgur.com/myTiwn1.png) Kiyo receives this pretty well calling us a tease and that’s just the way she likes it. We are [greeted by a nervous Charlotte]( https://i.imgur.com/vfgUVDV.png) and she throws up her entire script before we can say anything and takes her leave, Siegfried coined it, [‘Machinegun-talk’]( https://i.imgur.com/FFYSt6H.png), which seems appropriate and we all head up to drop off our stuff? Before gathering in the lobby again. Pretty sure we’re not carrying anything but sure… Hokusai is amazed at how golden the rooms are and before the plot gets derailed again, Enter,[ ~~Best Boi~~, visually updated Kotarou-kun~](https://i.imgur.com/mIP3m1i.png). I’m sure Takahashi Rie is ascending to heaven somewhere out there. Poor guy is working when it’s his day off but he argues that being of use to us is the best kind of vacation, best boi. Back to the plot, he comes back with some intel on the game area/map and explains some of the rules for us. Turns out we need teams of fours and Sexy Sumanai is going to do what mashu usually does and monitor our status screen, Kotarou is not participating for obvious reasons and mashu/master is dead weight, so we need more members. We name a few possible candidates such as, [Berserkerlot,]( https://i.imgur.com/s1FrzEf.png) honestly, he would be pretty op if he didn’t go on a rampage every second, so scratch that, [let’s just find an archer servant.]( https://i.imgur.com/leu5I60.png)

We run into our first candidate, [James fucking Moriarty]( https://i.imgur.com/eBi6BjT.png)……) Alright, what are you up to? Suspiciously [whistles]( https://i.imgur.com/paJdJHz.png). Anyways, he says he can’t help because he much too busy doing… things. With our search hitting a dead end, yes 1 servant in and we’re done… Enter, [Deus ex Machina,]( https://i.imgur.com/kFgP1z7.png) and as his name suggests he showed up to give us hints on who we should be looking for. Very convenient. The hints are;

An Archer

Someone that would spoil their grandchildren

A sweet young maiden

Drop your answers in the comment section below~




The answer was [Helena Blavatsky]( https://i.imgur.com/fQ4Puw2.png), if you got that, then congrats to you and no I ain’t got no prizes, blew all my qp in the casino alright!

Helena joins us in a heartbeat, thanks grandma~. Looks like we got all the members Hokusai, ~~musashi~~ Iori, Mashu, Master and Helena… luckily for us [Helena can count and points out that we are one member over.]( https://i.imgur.com/33yH0kc.png) Stumped by this fact we all put our thinking caps on and musashi has an epiphany, [you don’t count as a member if you’re not a person.]( https://i.imgur.com/eoHA37X.png) We lose what remaining humanity we had and resign to being someone’s equipment… while mashu is not entirely satisfied with idea, as there are no other objections we proceed with preparing for our battle. Kotarou goes to scout out the enemy team and we have a practice match with Helena to understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

[Battle Ensures]

TIME TO GET PUMPED
[えーい、えーい、おーう!]( https://i.imgur.com/3gG7Aby.png)

[Post editing] Or not, cause if you choose to be silent it causes Helena to try EVEN HARDER to get us pumped and musashi dies of cuteness overload…

The chapter starts with all participates in the plane before the match starts, Okki notices us and is initially distressed about it but thanks to [her class change and lessons with Li Shuwen Sensei, she is pretty cocky]( https://i.imgur.com/YxUlYj6.png) and thinks she can beat us. Meanwhile Hokusai [doesn’t look too good]( https://i.imgur.com/eTrmD5e.png) and clings to us. [Musashi gives us the thumbs up]( https://i.imgur.com/8PVeNRy.png) and ]Okki gives the NTR’ed delusional look]( https://i.imgur.com/R2rrplf.png). Both teams refocus on the task at hand and it is time to jump. [Blackbeard notices us]( https://i.imgur.com/B6XLstX.png) on his way out and warns us that there’s no mercy on the battlefield. Luckily for us we’re not participants per say and we count as equipment… Blackbeard is somewhat disappointed, and Anne overhears the exchange and [licks her lips]( https://i.imgur.com/gaOg1fg.png) before jumping off. Now it is our to turn to jump off but Hokusai refuses to jump without us, but being the savage we are we tell her [it’s nothing new and it’s just like rayshifting]( https://i.imgur.com/tpdLVzq.png) and kick her out. Now on the ground we assemble, Fou included, seems like he got into Mashu’s backpack at some point and we get to enjoy [Hokusai’s sweet sweet tears]( https://i.imgur.com/5LXbAtU.png) for a bit before getting into a fight with another team.

[Battle Ensures]

After the battle we decide on our next course of action but [Hokusai high off of the win charges off]( https://i.imgur.com/5FU8POI.png) in a random direction, looks like the game plan is to just randomly wonder around and beat anyone we come across, a sound strategy. Meanwhile Okki and her MLG team clears an area and using the advance CPU capabilities of Mecha Eli MK2 they determine our location and [Anne volunteers to go ‘scout’ us out.]( https://i.imgur.com/ageCa4y.png) Okki goes a bit meta and points out that this is usually how people die in horror movies, Anne ignores the sound logic and goes off with [a skip in her step.]( https://i.imgur.com/G0KtP21.png) Blackbeard on the other hand susses us out and thinks that it could be a trap, knowing [Anne she could not resist treasure presented in front of her.]( https://i.imgur.com/kCFJYmt.png) He immediately sends Mecha Eli MK2 after Anne while [Okki is confused]( https://i.imgur.com/lHuiBOi.png) on why Blackbeard is in a frenzy. He repeats his hypothesis to Okki, saying that Anne and Mary would totally fall for a honey trap, especially if it was laced with Master. Which is exactly what is happening. The scene switches back to us and Fou aimlessly wondering around in the forest, before getting a flashback to Kotarou giving us a report on his findings. It turns out that [Okki and her team are cheating,]( https://i.imgur.com/0sa45SI.png) he then passes a VHS tape to Siegfried to insert into the VTR. [Siegfried does that stereotypical ‘pushes up glasses’ anime pose,]( https://i.imgur.com/adOakeF.png) for a spooky 4 star saber he sure is showing off his new costume… also the glasses are borrowed from Sigurd. Musashi flies into a rage at the mentioning of Sigurd, seems like Sigurd is Musashi’s type, [like how ~~ calm~~ hot he is and how ~~cool~~ hot he is.]( https://i.imgur.com/PqufH1t.png) That’s one superficial criteria. She then suggest we go ~~kidnap~~ borrow his wisdom. [Yeah, nah, that’s a hard no from me. ]( https://i.imgur.com/0iS36kY.png)

On the VHS we see Anne getting ganged up by [G-man, The last Samurai and a Nazgul.]( https://i.imgur.com/n25rR4m.png) It seems like they all got lost to their own respective universes and decide to indulge themselves and project their fantasies onto Anne. Except last Samurai, [cause what he suggested was fucked up,]( https://i.imgur.com/tKdLajZ.png) even by their standards… It all turns out to be a trap and Mary pops out gives these degenerates a beating. Before they are socially and physically killed, they point out that Mary being here is against the rules but as we all know, they are two servants in one, so fuck the rules. [With the Nazgul’s dying breath]( https://i.imgur.com/6tzuKdg.png) he askes Mary to call him ‘Onii-chan’ to which she complains that she wants to be the [older sister rather than the younger sister…](https://i.imgur.com/uC1yiS5.png) The Nazgul gathers up his [final strength to laugh at Mary… Worth.]( https://i.imgur.com/zvy70TV.png)

The tape ends and… everyone was left speechless. Then again, it’s nothing new, the two are always together however this does leave us at a disadvantage. Rather than fighting a 5 v 3 we start to devise a plan to pick off Anne and Mary, and in order to do so we must lure them away, but how can we? What do we have in our possession that could lure away those two…. [IF ONLY WE HAD SOME TREASURE/WINE or SOMETHING.]( https://i.imgur.com/uaPoAZF.png) IF ONLY WE HAD MASTER…

[What?]( https://i.imgur.com/7Mi0j2m.png)

[All three of them in agreement]( https://i.imgur.com/ydDd3NL.png)

Obviously Mashu is against the plan but we live in the land of democracy so…

Meanwhile back in present time, the plan worked flawlessly.

[What’s this? Master! What are you doing in a place like this?]( https://i.imgur.com/qdXw2SU.png)

[I’m lost…](https://i.imgur.com/rOWQefx.png)

[But wait, if you’re here does that mean that your participant?]( https://i.imgur.com/72k7DUU.png)

[What? A piece of equipment?]( https://i.imgur.com/vuq59SA.png)

[Then you’re just like me…](https://i.imgur.com/rCPDxnJ.png)

[But for a piece of equipment, to be here all by yourself…](https://i.imgur.com/yOh2Yr8.png)

[Moves in for the kill….](https://i.imgur.com/2MAKYCc.png)

[FOUND YA!]( https://i.imgur.com/tObeJ93.png)

[So close, yet so far…](https://i.imgur.com/jz7XXiM.png)

[You’re not getting a leg up on me!]( https://i.imgur.com/ZizI4Ei.png)

[I wasn’t planning to… besides aren’t you supposed to be with the team?]( https://i.imgur.com/F87VcDY.png)

[Well I heard Master might be in the area, so I went to ‘scout’ him out.]( https://i.imgur.com/WId9xcX.png)

[Well it can’t be help, let’s have a threesome.]( https://i.imgur.com/C3RmQZT.png)

[Master. Master, you count as a piece of equipment, right?]( https://i.imgur.com/0Huc0EV.png)

[Well yeah, I guess.]( https://i.imgur.com/JvHILWc.png)

[Which means we should treat you as such right?]( https://i.imgur.com/PHXMO0m.png)

[No, no. We’re not gonna treat you badly, we’re gonna give you lots of---]( https://i.imgur.com/yLlqhZc.png)

[Hugs]( https://i.imgur.com/ze1tGPE.png)

[Head bunting]( https://i.imgur.com/LnEj6Ub.png)

[Things we normally couldn’t do with you…]( https://i.imgur.com/2iOqXUv.png)

[we’re going to give you loooooooooots of love <3]( https://i.imgur.com/V55eiRd.png)

[Now, close your eyes <3]( https://i.imgur.com/91rYDsJ.png)

[MY CHASITY IS IN DANGER, HELP!]( https://i.imgur.com/WqGgMOM.png)

Assemble Thot Blockers! Although it seemed like [Mashu and Hokusai were unnerved]( https://i.imgur.com/5zpisBp.png) by what they just witnessed, to which Mary replies with [‘someone else is gonna take him otherwise~’]( https://i.imgur.com/B2m8y7O.png)

[Battle Ensures]

Anne and Mary collapse.

[1] [You two alright?]( https://i.imgur.com/pTE8Wfx.png)

[Yep, we’re still kicking <3.]( https://i.imgur.com/40OjRAh.png) Woah, that’s one quick recovery, although it seems like they have accepted their defeat and shall exit the game. Mecha Eli MK2 descends to confirm that both Anne and Mary have been knocked out and shall report this to Okki. [You ask if it’s not against the rules to fly]( https://i.imgur.com/ZChubXs.png), since that kinda seems like it would break the game, but Eli argues that she was born this way and this is a skill, better than a certain somebody summoning the ENTIRE OCEAN.

[Jeanne: Bow before our dolphin overlords.]( https://i.imgur.com/Axt1NRV.png)

Fair enough. Eli and Siegfried exchange blows for a bit before flying off back to her team. Siegfried figuring they now had the upper hand, taunts Eli, How are you gonna fight a 3 v 5? [Eli replies by calling him a noob]( https://i.imgur.com/7GZcBE1.png) for assume they didn’t have other tricks up their sleeves. Siegfried takes [critical damage to his ego.]( https://i.imgur.com/Hd1VzfA.png) For us FGO veterans we deduce their final trump card would be [Super Robot Mecha Eli MK2.]( https://i.imgur.com/F6hSX4L.png) Meanwhile back in Camp Okki, Okki [curses herself for not being along the castle,]( https://i.imgur.com/2w664d4.png) which Mecha Eli points out that it would’ve been impossible, but she does have a plan…

Back in Chaldea Camp, we also [deduce that it would be physically impossible for them to bring the whole robot]( https://i.imgur.com/dynnj2r.png) along and recall how strong her missiles were. Hokusai, unaware of the powers of technology claims, [should this ‘missile’ show up, she will cut it where it stands… ]( https://i.imgur.com/1wOXOsw.png)thethe) sentiment is also shared by Musashi… Siegfried does argue that if the missile is below A rank, they should be able to deal with it without too much hassle… reassurance everywhere…

The final chapter opens with both parties facing off and without wasting too much time Blackbeard [suggests we just start killing each other. ]( https://i.imgur.com/TKUf1JB.png)

[Battle Ensures]

The battle rages on due to [Blackbeard’s healing skill, [Gentlemanly Love]…]( https://i.imgur.com/Kvl7nZS.png) sure. Neither sides appear to be gaining the upper hand then [Mecha Eli MK2 reappears]( https://i.imgur.com/2z40d3W.png) and tells us that her missiles are now online and I assume all preparations are complete, because outta nowhere Okki summons [Prison Castle Csejte → Pyramid → Himeji Castle + Super Robot Mecha Eli-chan!]( https://i.imgur.com/IaHMBGl.png) In response, [Musashi bursts into laughter]( https://i.imgur.com/n5EtZHt.png) at the sight of Castle JENGATM, after she calms down she realises that [they are kinda fucked.]( https://i.imgur.com/lQd519C.jpg) Looks like we can only brute strength our way through, and to add pressure to Okki Blackbeard reminds her that if they lose she’s going to have visit Kiyo, and [it ain’t gonna be pleasant.]( https://i.imgur.com/4P9NFPF.png)

[Showdown Ensures]

Somewhat losing the battle, Okki and Mecha Eli retreat to the skies, since no of us can fly we gotta get creative. [By using Helena’s D-wheels we catapult Hokusai into the air, then to get further distance Musashi fires off an air strike which Hokusai rides.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbWGEbJQuBg) Okki and Mecha Eli prepare to do some sick evasive mauvers (steering slightly to the right), but not on my watch.

[WITH MY COMMAND SEAL, I COMMAND YOU TO HIT THOSE TWO!]( https://i.imgur.com/k7AU2NM.png)

And thus Hokusai was transformed into a homing missile.

In the aftermath, as the victors we demanded 999,999,999 QP from the Okki but obviously she doesn’t have that kind of money so we got information instead, all while Kiyo was slowly creeping up on Okki. However Okki tries to [weasel her way out of this and says that she’s not allowed to tell them anything]( https://i.imgur.com/Valndp0.png) because she is scared of Latoria. BUT, [if we command her to give us her everything, she might consider it…]( https://i.imgur.com/yienrAq.png) Obviously Mashu does not approve, but [also Hokusai]( https://i.imgur.com/nFYBmc0.png )… Seems like she’s been making one too many rape doujins… But being the savages we are…

[I WANT ALL OF YOUr information]( https://i.imgur.com/iHklyBu.png)

[A critical blow to her maiden heart!]( https://i.imgur.com/wJvO5el.png) With the last of her defences destroyed, she decides to share with us the information… [unfortunately Kiyohime overheard and well…]( https://i.imgur.com/T2zRkoY.png) We all know how this ends…

[I’ve got a question for you.]( https://i.imgur.com/I5169ol.png)

[Do I look angry to you?]( https://i.imgur.com/xwzmEVE.png)

[Yes… very much so….]( https://i.imgur.com/lLjRgOP.png)

[Now, what does an angry Kiyohime do to Okki?]( https://i.imgur.com/SxNz6DR.png)

[Laughs wickedly while turning me into pasta?]( https://i.imgur.com/MIq9PPD.png)

[Oh heavens no.]( https://i.imgur.com/crH3Nay.png)

[A thousand stabs with her spear of fire?]( https://i.imgur.com/YYSiR0M.png)

[No, no, I wouldn’t do such a thing.]( https://i.imgur.com/6YDBtB3.png)

[Then… YOU’LL FORGIVE ME?!]( https://i.imgur.com/RDMTNA5.png)

[Yes, after I…]( https://i.imgur.com/VJIxVI1.png)

The Doujo-ji bell rings…

[trap you in Doujo ji, be sure to repent on your actions okay? <3]( https://i.imgur.com/77DwivG.png)

[NUUOOOOOOOOO](https://i.imgur.com/WCQKlq3.png)

We tell Kiyo to go easy on Okki but apparently it’s not all that bad inside the bell because it does [have air conditioning](https://i.imgur.com/UZbBIhH.png)……) [what?]( https://i.imgur.com/UNwGM2C.png) yeah I know right… anyhow, with the first boss dealt with [we thank granny for her help]( https://i.imgur.com/t9c1MIy.png) and Blackbeard in Okki’s place, drops some expositional text with added [dramatic effect]( https://i.imgur.com/fF3rkcI.png) thanks to Tsar Ivan… as expected of the Tsar, being there when his people needs him.

------------------------------------

And thus this chapter comes to a conclusion, damn what an event! So as mentioned above this is not accurate in any way and I’ll be aiming to release more chapters as they come out. My Motto is Speedy and Meme-y, so I’m not going to look up every single kanji I don’t know how to read, but instead provide a little glimpse of what the story is like because I absolutely loved all the jokes the writers included and thought it was a shame that us non-japanese folks couldn't fully enjoy.

If there was any jokes that I missed and wish to share, leave them in the comments below and what are your speculations on the other casinos? What kind of references do you think will appear?

With that, I’ll see you guys in the next chapter!
submitted by Duyyy to grandorder [link] [comments]

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